Sunday, July 12, 2015

SHARK KILLER (2015)

SHARK KILLER (2015)

Label: Image Entertainment

Rating: 15 Certificate
Duration: 84 Minutes
Region Code: B
Audio: English Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo 
Video: Anamorphic Widescreen (1.78:1) 
Director: Sheldon Wilson 
Cast: Derek Theler, Erica Cerra, Paul du Toit, Arnold Vosloo

The new age of straight-to-video b-movies sure ain't what it once was, gone are the days of of the low-budget Roger Corman produced creature features which despite budgetary shortcomings were loaded with plenty of action, ingenuity, and hordes of nude women -- say what you ill about Humanoids From the Deep an Up from the Depths -- they are entertaining drive-in fare through and through. Maybe my issue with this one is simply a matter of expectation, after seven days of the Discovery Channel's Shark week I was in the mood for some some cheap shark carnage and the tagline of "Your Beach Body is About to be Shark Meat" seemed to promise just that,  but it failed to deliver it in any way shape or form. I should have just thrown on Jaws 2 and I would have been a much happier camper. Unfortunately this movie is about ninety-percent a diamond heist action-adventure film and only ten-percent the shark carnage movie advertised -- and let me jus say up front that ten-percent is pretty weak with very little carnage and no gore whatsoever. 

Actor Derek Theler plays the somewhat hunky Chase Walker, a shark hunter who is knee-deep in pussy and also happens to be annoyed by the sight, sound and smell of the ocean, which is such a crazy quirk for someone who is a notorious shark hunter. It's supposed to be a quirky character trait, and  just wait until you hear the back story on that one (rolls eyes). He is tasked by his adoptive, douche-nozzle brother Jake (Paul du Toit) to track down a black-finned great white shark, that through convoluted means (as explained in the opening flash animation sequence) has swallowed an enormous uncut diamond which Jake was hired to acquire for a mafia-type Bond villain named Nix, played by Arnold Vosloo who you might remember as the Mummy character from the awful Mummy action-adventure films with Brendan Frasier. Unfortunately I think  Vosloo must have quite a gambling debt or alimony payment, how else do you explain his appearance in this sort of Syfy channel dreck, then again, I haven't seen him in much else these days so he was probably grateful for the work. Walker as played by Theler has a d-grade level Chris Pratt sort of charm, a likable rogue with a sense of humor an an uncanny knack for annoying Jake's lawyer, played by the very cute Erica Cerra, who tries to her best to resist his charm, but you know it's pointless to try and they will end up in each others arms sooner or later.

So, far from being the shark carnage movie I had hoped for this one is an action-adventure romp unfortunately more along the lines of Sahara with Matthew McConaughey than Romancing the Stone with Michael Douglass, only not as fun and on a much smaller scale with far less charisma. I do give the film some props for a fun beginning with Walker at the beach in Hawaii that channels both Jaws and Deep Blue Sea, but i goes downhill quickly after that. 

Stylistically this is not an awful movie, it's shot competently and had some good atmospheric lighting during a few scenes, the underwater shots are staged nicely and the cast seem like they're enjoying it for the dumb movie that it truly is, but there's only so much they can do with the material. The flash animated opening credit sequence is quite good at setting up the story and gives the movie a cool Bond type quality. The digital shark was a real problem for me though, very cheap looking and by far the worse offender of the film. I would avoid this unless you are streaming it on Netflix or Amazon Prime, save your money for something with a bit more bite to it. 2/5


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