Tuesday, April 24, 2018

ADULT FAIRY TALES (1978) (88 Films Blu-ray Review)

ADULT FAIRY TALES (1978)

Label: 88 Films 
Rating: Cert. 18 
Region Code:
Duration: 82 Minutes 
Audio: English LPCM 2.0 with Optional English Subtitles 
Video: 1080p HD Widescreen (2.35:1)
Director: Harry Hurwitz
Cast: Quigley, Don Sparks, Sy Richardson, Brenda Fogarty, and Martha Reeve

Synopsis: Little Bo Peep, Old King Cole, Little Tommy Tucker, Snow White, and many others, have all grown up and are ready for action! These enchanting characters from beloved nursery rhymes sing, dance, lust, and romance their way through this hilarious, naughty, and twisted tale where music, mirth, and merriment are the rule of the day. In a clothing optional land of make believe where everything is possible. See “Scream Queen” Linnea Quigley star in her first feature role in this erotic musical funfest!!

This 70's soft-core fairy tale open with the Prince (Don Sparks, TV's L.A. Law) who awakens on his 21st birthday and is told he must prove to his father the King that he can sire an heir to the throne or risk losing his future Kingdom. To that end the King sends a trio of docs; Dr. Eyes (Irwin Corey, Car Wash), Dr. Ears (Robert Harris) and Dr. Moustache (Simmy Bow, Alligator) to the Prince's bedroom first thing in the morning, they've brought along a gorgeous blond (Idy Tripodi) who mounts the young Prince in his bed but the Prince's limp-dick cannot rise to the occasion. Now, to my eyes this Prince seems not to favor women if you know what I mean, but after not performing to expectations he tells the docs that the reason is that his true love is blond woman as seen in portrait hanging on his bedroom wall, sure, but it is said that the Princess in the portrait disappeared years ago and has not been seen since.

The Prince is sent off to the Land Of The Fairies to find a cure for his limp prick, his first sexy encounter is with the buxom Little Bo Peep (Angela Aames, Chopping Mall), a cutie in a yellow and white bonnet and a dress that leaves little to the imagination, and even that bit of fabric melts off her pretty damn quickly, but still the Prince's prick once again fails to rise to the occasion. Peep advises the Prince to seek The Little Old Lady Who Lives in a Shoe, Madame Gussy (Brenda Fogarty, Trip with the Teacher), and of course the shoe turns out to be a whore house run by Gussy, with a wise-cracking doorman played by Roberts Staats, and let me tell you this fast talking and wise-cracking guy steals the whole show. The Shoe is also visited by the smooth pimp Sirius (Sy Richardson, Repo Man), who also steals every scene, these two guys are 70's comedy gold.

While traveling through the kingdom on his way to the Shoe the Prince encounters Jack (Jeff Doucette, TV's Alien Nation) and Jill (Lindsay Freeman, Boardinghouse), the latter of whom of course tries to get in his pants without success, c'mon ladies this guy just ain't into women! Arriving at the Shoe the Prince discovers that each themed room in the shoe is home to a different fairy tale story, we have a kinky Snowhite (Anne Gaybis, Bachelor Party), and her horny seven dwarfs, with my favorite musical number of the show, fun and raunchy stuff! Of course there's also an Evil Queen and her sexy mirror image, a trio of dominatrix's including Evelyn Guerrero, Toolbox Murders) who perform a song along the lines of the WWII era swing jazz classic boogie woogie bugle boy, which was all sorts of awesome, but it also fails to get the Prince's royal dick hard. 

Strangely Martha Reeve's of Martha And The Vandellas fame shows up for a fine disco-soul number as a voodoo priestess in a bubbling cauldron, and according to Band's commentary the soul singer didn't even realize she was performing in a softcore sex-comedy until she brought her Church group to see the movie - if that's true that is amazing! Also notable is the appearance of a sex-loving Old King Cole (Bob Leslie, The Florida Connection) who receives a rather pleasant and oiled up erotic belly-dance from the exotic dancer Nai Bonet (Nocturna). The Prince has no luck fixing his wang-thang until he becomes privy to a secret room on the upper floor of the shoe which may or may not contain Sleeping Beauty (Linnea Quigley, Return of the Living Dead), the future scream queen's first movie role and looking so fresh-faced and cute.

The movie is so silly and fun, loaded with hairy-bushed nudity, and eyefuls of softcore orgies, and raunchy musical numbers that are surprisingly catchy, this thing never wears out its welcome, not even for a minute. Sparks is decent in the role of the naive Prince but the movie is stolen in my opinion by motor-mouthed doorman played Roberts Staats, he seemed so familiar to be, a wonderful combination of used car salesman and 42nd street carnival barker, telling Bo Peep he cannot see the future but can tell by her bruises what she did last night, I just loved this guy, though I couldn't remember what I know him from.

Adult Fairy Tales (1978) was low-budget and strapped for cash (it was a Charles Band production after all!) which probably necessitated the cheesy sets and tacky costuming, but that's all part of the charm of it. I like the shoe house/brothel they constructed, it sort of looked like it belonged at a miniature golf place, you know, cheap.  While it was low-rent the cast are a fun bunch and the musical numbers are rather excellent, there's a lot to love about this raunchy sex-comedy cum musical, if you get-off on cheesy 70's sex comedies cum musicals look no further, Adult Fairy Tales (1978) is the stuff you're looking for.

Audio/Video: Adult Fairy Tales (1978) arrives on Blu-ray in the UK from 88 Films on region B locked Blu-ray, the 2.35:1 widescreen image is restored from its original 35mm negative. The film was also released in the U.S. via Full Moon on Blu-ray last year and the presentation looks to be sourced from the same restoration, but the encode shows some minor but notable differences. The Full Moon Blu-ray looks more vibrant to my eyes, bit the 88 Films image has better managed grain and less video noise throughout. There's a fair amount of grain present and some minor print damage is visible from time to time but overall this is a good looking release. 

While Full moon still go with lossy audio on their Blu-Ray 88 Films step-up to the plate with an English LPCM 2.0 stereo track, and they've also included newly created subtitles, which the FM disc did not. The track is solid and well-balanced, with the ribald musical numbers coming through with some nice nuance but it is a basic stereo track, nothing too special here. 


Onto the extras we get an audio commentary by writer Frank Perilli and Charles Band who do a seemingly by-the-seat of their pants, which is still informative and entertaining but not the most scholarly of listens, this is the same commentary as the Full Moon release. The only other disc extras is a two-minute widescreen trailer for the film, which was not on the Full Moon release. 

The single-disc release comes in a 16mm Blu-ray case with a limited edition first-pressing slipcover featuring the same key artwork as the Full Moon release with the "Adult Fairy Tales" alternate title, the same artwork is featured on the a-side of the reversible sleeve, the b-side featuring yet another variant movie poster with a equally fun though more cartoon-ish illustration. The disc itself features an excerpt from the b-side artwork. 

Special Features: 
- Audio Commentary by writer Frank Ray Perilli and producer Charles Band
- Fairy Tales Trailer (2 min) 
- Reversible Sleeve with alternate original poster

If you're region-free and are wondering which version of this film to buy I say go with this 88 Films version, the image is better encoded, the audio is lossless and you get a sleeve of reversible artwork, and this thing has some mighty fine shelf appeal. The movie itself is a delightfully naughty softcore sex-romp full of 70's campiness, nudity and a load of surprisingly fun musical numbers, c'mon you know you want to see it, so have it you dirty birdies. 

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