THE EPITAPH VOL. 22
Brief Remembrances of the Recently Released
ANNABELLE COMES HOME (2019) - CRAWL (2019) - THE LAST ACTION HERO (1993) & HUDSON HAWK (1991) ALL-ACTION DOUBLE FEATURE - WONDER WOMAN: BLOODLINES (2019) - TONE-DEAF (2019)
ANNABELLE COMES HOME (2019)
Label: Warner Bros.
Region Code: A
Rating: R
Duration: 106 Minutes
Audio: English Dolby Atmos, DTS-HD MA 5.1 with Optional English Subtitles
Video: 1080P HD Widescreen (2.40:1) Director: Gary Dauberman
Cast: Mckenna Grace, Madison Iseman, Katie Sarife, Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga
Determined to keep bad-doll Annabelle from wreaking more mayhem demonologists Ed (Patrick Wilson, Watchmen) and Lorraine Warren (Vera Farmiga, Bates Motel) lock the naughty doll in their artifact room behind behind some sacred glass for safekeeping. However, when the Warrens’ young daughter Judy (Mckenna Grace, I, Tonya) and teen babysitter Mary Ellen (Madison Iseman, Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween) along with her friend Daniela (Katie Sarife) are left alone they wander down into the forbidden artifacts room unleashing a trio of supernatural terrors, including The Ferryman, The Bloody Bride and a Werewolf! The Annabelle films have now surpassed The Conjuring in numeration with a trio of titles, though the Warrens do figure into this film in what amounts to an extended cameo with their daughter and her new found teen friends being the stars. This is a slick-looking slice of franchise horror with lots of atmospherics sets and cool looking supernatural nasties, with the werewolf being the standout for me. I went into this one with fairly low expectations and was a bit surprised how much fun it was, a spirited babysitter/creature film made for a fun watch. Sure, we still gets lots of cheap jump scares and the frights are broadcast well in advance by the score, but I think it's superior to both The Nun or The Curse of La Llorona. The Conjuring universe films are a guilty pleasure to be sure, and while I don't see revisiting any of them anytime soon they're decent popcorn films that I can watch with my teens. At it's worst this spin-off feels a bit like a set-up for a trio of potential Conjuring-universe spin-offs than an actual sequel with a coherent plot and payoff, so on that level it's disappointing, but not unlike the other Conjuring universe films they are easily enjoyed as a cheap haunted house thrill ride, more so than enduring horror franchise that will be loved for ages, for me these are disposable slices of entertainment. The Blu-ray sent to us from Warner Bros. looks solid, a sharp-looking HD image with a sonically pleasing Dolby Atmos audio track with optional English subtitles. Extras include a selection of brief behind-the-scenes featurettes, a digital copy, plus we get a slipcover.
Special Features:
- Deleted Scenes (11 min)
- The Artifact Room & the Occult (5 min)
- The Light & the Love (4 min)
- Behind the Scenes: The Ferryman/Demon (5 min) , The Bloody Bride (3 min), The Werewolf (3 min)
CRAWL (2019)
Label: Paramount Pictures
Region Code: A
Rating: R
Duration: 99 Minutes
Audio: English DTS-HD MA 7.1, 5.1 with Optional English Subtitles
Video: 1080p HD Widescreen (2.40:1)
Director: Alexandre Aja
Cast: Kaya Scodelario, Barry Pepper
I do love me a good 'gator film and the survival horror entry Crawl (2019) hit all the right notes for me, it's well-executed, claustrophobic and adrenaline fueled, plus it clocks in at less than ninety-minutes. A young college swimmer named Hayley (Kaya Scodelario, TV's Skins) drives out to check on her divorced dad (Barry Pepper, The Green Mile) as a category five hurricane lays into the area. She finds him gravely injured in the crawlspace beneath the home, having been attacked by an alligator that has taken up in the crawlspace during the storm. Haley finds herself stranded in the crawlspace along with father and a pissed of gator with time running out as the water level begins rising. I enjoyed the carnage here, these damn gators are almost supernaturally aggressive, which is never explained to my satisfaction, and the determined Haley must fight to keep her father and herself alive, and find a way out before they drown or are eaten. At several points it seems rescue might come from a variety of people who arrive in the area, only to become gator-food in short-order. This is a solid survival horror film, and it looks terrific, the FX are excellent and the the minimal cast is terrific. The film is briskly paced and not-even ninety-minutes long, and they pack a lot of action/carnage into that short run time which I found very pleasing. The Blu-ray A/V is solid and includes a nice assortment of extras including a motion-comic, deleted scenes, and featurettes exploring the digital FX and the film's production, a montage of gator carnage, and we get a digital copy of the film and a DVD.
Special Features:
- Intro to Alternate Opening (1 min) - Alternate Opening (5 min)
- Deleted and Extended Scenes (6 min)
- Beneath Crawl (28 min)
- Category 5 Gators: The VFX of Crawl (12 min)
- Alligator Attacks (2 min)
Label: umbrella Entertainment
Region Code: Region-FREE
Rating: M
Duration: 131 Minutes, 100 Minutes
Audio: English DTS-HD MA 5.1, English DTS-HD MA 2.0
Video: 1080p HD Widescreen (2.35:1), (1.77:1)
Director: John McTiernan, Michael Lehmann
Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, F. Murray Abraham, Art Carney, Charles Dance, Tom Noonan, Anthony Quinn, Robert Prosky, Austin O'Brien , Bruce Willis, Danny Aiello, Andie MacDowell, Richard E. Grant, Sandra Bernhard, Donald Burton, James Coburn
Director John McTiernan' Last Action Hero is an action-film send-up that re-teamed the director with Arnold Schwarzenegger (The Terminator) for the first time since Predator. It tells the story of an action film obsessed kid named Danny whose favorite film star is Jack Slater (Schwarzenegger), the kids loves him and sees all the screening of the stars movies at the local cineplex. When the cinema's projectionist (Robert Prosky, Christine) invites him to an advance screening of the star's latest film the kid is beyond excited, but during the screening his is magically transported into the world of the film, and immediately sets about helping his hero solve crimes. PG-rated and a bit goofy the film is loaded with playful send-ups and winks to other action films, with the kid trying to convince Slater that he's a movie character, eventually bringing his hero into the real world, but also dragging along Slater's arch villain, an ax murder named the Ripper (Tom Noonan, Manhunter) which leads to all sorts of fun at the Hollywood premiere of Slater's film. The film is fun but goofy, the straight-up comedy of it put me off seeing it back in the 90's, when this hit the cinemas. Now I dig it, it's lots of fun and a real no-brainer for Schwarzenegger fans who want to see the guy poke fun at himself. The second film on this double-feature is Hudson Hawk, which was an action-comedy flop at the box office, but it has since gone onto to become a bit of a cult-classic, starring Bruce Willis (12 Monkeys) as a cat-burglar who has just been released from prison after a long stretch. The guy wants nothing more than to go legit and enjoy a cappuccino, but between the interference of his former partner Tommy 'Five-Tone' Messina (Danny Aiello, Jacob's Ladder) and his crooked probation officer he's gonna find getting that cappuccino a bit difficult. Eventually he's roped into a crime-caper to steal Da Vinci's secret to turning lead into gold which involves stealing Da Vinci artifacts from museums. Also mixed up in this caper is CIA spook George Kaplan (James Coburn, Our Man Flint) and his candy car code-named agents Almond Joy, Snickers, Butterfinger and the creepy Kit Kat (David Caruso, Session 9). The laughs come more often than the action in this one, but what really sends it right over the top is that the heist is being masterminded by Darwin (Richard E. Grant) and Minerva Mayflower (Sandra Bernhard) who come off as weirdo Bond villains, maniacally laughing all the time, demented and strange. It's a weird and silly bit of farce but I've loved this one since I was a kid watching it on cable TV, where it aired constantly. Willis is a charming guy, he's having a blast here, and it's just good jokey fun. Umbrella's region-free double-feature Blu-ray features both films on a single disc with no extras and no subtitles, but the A/V is solid making this a fun double-dose of early 90's box office poison that has aged fairly well, and you can pick it up for about $16 on Amazon.
Label: Warner Bros.
Region Code: Region-FREE
Rating: PG-13
Duration: 83 Minutes
Audio: English DTS-HD MA 5.1 with Optional English Subtitles
Video: 2160p UltraHD Widescreen (1.78:1)
Cast: Rosario Dawson, Jeffrey Donovan, Marie Avgeropoulos, Adrienne C. Moore, Kimberly Brooks, Constance Zimmer, Nia Vardalos, Michael Dorn, Cree Summer, Mozhan Marno, Ray Chase
Coming straight off DC's fantastic The Death and Return of Superman I had high hopes for this Wonder Woman origin story from DC Animation. The story has Diana, Princess of Themyscira (Rosario Dawson, Clerks II) rescuing American pilot Steve Trevor (Jeffrey Donovan) after his plane crashes onto the her hidden island home. Going against her Queen mother's wishes Diana leaves the island of Themyscira with Rogers, travelling to the world of man where she becomes superhero Wonder Woman. Ending up in Washington D.C, she meets Dr. Julia Kapatelis (Nia Vardalos) and her rebellious daughter Vanessa (Marie Avgeropoulos), with Dr. Julia becoming a bit of a mother figure to Diana, while her own teen daughter turns bitter with what she perceives as Wonder Woman stealing her mother away from her. Following a tragedy wherein Vanessa's mother is killed the guilt-ridden teen turns towards villains Doctor Poison and Cyber, transforming herself into the augmented villain Silver Swan, becoming a sworn enemy to Wonder Woman. Honesty the story being told here did not do much for me, but the animation looks cool, more long the lines of something like Batman: The Animated Series than what we saw with The Death and Return of Superman, it seemed more kiddie-friendly. The 4K UltraHD presentation is excellent, the animation is sharp and well-defined, with colors augmented by a HDR color-grading which gives the primaries and blacks a nice boost. There's also a decent selection of extras, including a featurette exploring arch villain Cheetah, a sneak peak Superman: Red Son, a pair of episodes of Batman: The Brave and the Bold, and an animated short film, plus a Blu-ray and digital copy of the film, it comes with a slipcover. This is not a high-recommend from me but if you're a die-hard DC animated fan this looks and sounds great, and I loved Rosario Dawson as the voice Wonder Woman.
Special Features:
- Death (Animated Short) (19 min)
- The Cheetah: Ferocious Archenemy (11 min)
- A Sneak Peek at the next DC Universe Movie, Superman: Red Son
- From the DC Vault: 2 Bonus Episodes of Batman: The Brave and the Bold (45 min)
Label: Lionsgate
Region Code: A
Rating: R
Duration: 88 Minutes
Audio: English 5.1 DTS-HD MA, 5.1 Dolby Digital with Optional English Subtitles
Video: 1080P HD Widescreen (2.39:1)
Director: Richard Bates Jr.
Cast: Robert Patrick, Amanda Crew
Tone-Deaf is not a comedy per se but it is very humorous, the tale of millennial Olive (Amanda Crew, Sex Drive) who is having a shit week, first she breaks up with her annoying boyfriend and then she loses her job. Taking advice from her work-buddy she splurges on a weekend getaway, renting a large house in rural California from widower Harvey (Robert Patrick, T2: Judgment Day). It turns out that Harvey is losing his grip on reality, seemingly suffering dementia, he begins to act on his urges to experience murdering someone. The flick is filled with flashbacks to Olive's father (Ray Wise) killing himself, and to her inept piano playing, which is a bit of running joke in the film, all her life no one was willing to tell Olive that she cannot play the piano. This feeds into not just the title of the film, but also certain perceptions of millennials (Olive) by baby-boomers (Harvey), like the fact that they're too coddled by their parents. We are also treated to flashbacks from her life during an LSD-fueled hallucinations while the we get strange, dementia-fueled nightmares from Harvey. The film is punctuated by some good visceral violence, and I had fun with it and enjoyed the millennial versus baby-boomer commentary, but the ending didn't live up to the lead-up, but it's still a solid watch. The film arrives Blu-ray and digital from Lionsgate with a featurette and a slipcover.
Special Features:
- The Struggle Is Real: Making Tone-Deaf