Tuesday, September 17, 2024

THE CONVENT (2000) (Synapse Films 4K UHD Review)

THE CONVENT
(2000)

Label: Synapse Films

Region Code: Region-Free
Rating: Unrated
Duration: 80 Minutes 
Audio: English DTS-HD MA 5.1 with Optional English Subtitles 
Video: Dolby Vision (HDR10) 2160p Ultra HD Widescreen (1.78:1) 
Director: Mike Mendez
Cast: Adrienne Barbeau, Bill Moseley, 

Mike Mendez's The Convent (2000) opens with a prologue set in 1960 with a young woman named Christine (Oakley Stevenson, Night of the Demons '09 remake) entering the St. Francis Boarding School for Girls with a shotgun and a can of gasoline, wearing a Catholic schoolgirl outfit with a leather jacket and shades, all this set to the sounds of Lesley Gore's "You Don't Own Me".  She then proceeds to lay waste to the nuns and priest inside before setting fire to the place - now this is how you open a flick! 

Forty years later the Catholic School is now dilapidated and abandoned, and reportedly haunted by the spirits of the nuns and priest who were massacred there by Christine. It's  become a place where the local fraternities and sororities like to go to tag their Greek letters on the walls and party. One such group of kids is Clorissa (Joanna Canton, TV's That '70s SHow), her former goth bestie Mo (Megahn Perry, TV's Buffy the Vampire Slayer), her nerdy pledge brother Brant (Liam Kyle Sullivan, TV's I Hate My 30s), frat bros Chad (Dax Miller, Blood Surf) and Biff (Jim Golden), ex-frat bro asshole Frijole (Richard Trapp), cheerleader Kaitlin (RenĂ©e Graham, Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the Thirteenth), and her dog Boozer.

They arrive at the old convent and Frijole puts the unwanted moves on Mo who is having none of that, however, when the cops, Office Starkey (rapper Coolio, Leprechaun in the Hood) and Officer Ray (Bill Moseley, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2), arrive and chase the teens off, except for Mo who hides out because she is already on academic probation and fears she might be expelled if caught there. Left alone she falls victim to a group of inept satanists lead by Saul, a dweebie Dairy Cream employee and his dip-shit minions Sapphira (Chaton Anderson, Wither) and Dickie-Boy (Kelly Mantle, TV's The Browns), who are intent on sacrificing her to summon the the Devil, but guess what? She's no virgin, and instead of summoning Satan her sacrifice resurrects the demonic spirits of the nuns and priests killed in the 1960's. Now unleashed they are hungry for blood and looking for a virgin to sacrifice to actually bring about the Antichrist on earth!   

Clorissa manages to escape and tracks down the now much older Christine (Adrienne Barbeau, The Fog), whom we learn  spent thirty years in an asylum for her crimes before conveniently moving back to the neighborhood. She also clears up what really happened back in the 60's and why she went on a that murderous rampage. She and Clorissa for head back to her old slaughtering grounds, looking cool as hell in a black leather jacket and jeans and being a total bad-ass old lady, in what I think is probably one of Barbeau's best later-era roles, albeit quite short it's totally memorable. 

This flick ended up going straight to video when the original distribution company went tits-up prior to it's intended theatrical run, and it's been fairly obscure ever since, but has been championed by cult-cinema tastemakers for two decades, where it;s developed quite a following. It's a glorious throwback to the 80's splatter flicks, coming off as a pretty obvious homage to The Night of the Demons, only set in a convent instead of a mortuary 'natch, with a neon-splatter veneer that brought to mind Lamberto Bava's Italian fright-fests Demons and Demons 2. Its pretty glorious and gory stuff, and while I thought that the characters were pretty one note and the story itself is rote, it's executed with such a kinetic fervor and an obvious love of genre that I would defy anyone not to love it for it's excess.   

I really liked the neon and blacklight-lit gore on display, some of the humor is lame-brained, sure, as are the characters, a cheesy hybridization of 80's/00's asshole teens, but I just love the gusto that Mendez beings to it, executed with a lively low-budget chutzpah that nevers gets dull. I don't need originality in every horror flick though, sometimes I just want an old school throwback to the sort of 80's supernatural party flick that made me fall in love with horror, and that's exactly what this is, a love letter to to the gory party horror flicks of the '80s. The looks of the demonic nuns are pretty cool, I love the green glowing eyes, the blacklight vibrancy of the blacklight reactive make-up, and how bonkers it all gets. If you're looking for a party flick to watch this Halloween season this gore-soaked, neon-lit demon-nun flick should at the top of your list. 

Audio/Video: The Convent (2000) arrives fully uncut on 4K Ultra HD with a 4K remaster sourced from the uncut 35mm Internegative elements, supervised and approved by director Mike Mendez, presented in 2160p UHD widescreen with Dolby Vision (HDR10) color-grading. The low-budget flick looks terrific on 4K UHD, the 4K restoration is fine-tuned and wonderful, the neon colors are bold and vibrant, black levels and contrast is pleasing, this easily the best this film has ever looked on home video. The accompanying Blu-ray also looks great, even minus the Dolby Vision (HDR10) black levels are deep and the wildly garish colors are vivid.

Audio on both the UHD and Blu-ray comes by way of English DTS-HD MA 5.1 stereo surround mix sourced from the original 16-track audio masters, with optional English subtitles. Dialogue and teen screams sound terrific, as does the industrial-metal score by Joseph Bishara (Insidious), everything is well-balanced and clean, no issues with distortion or hiss.

Extras include Cast and Crew Audio Commentary, featuring director Mike Mendez; the “Lords of Hell” Audio Commentary featuring Saul and Dickie-Boy; a Video Tour of both THE CONVENT and KILLERS Film Locations; a Vintage “Making of” featurette; and the Vintage Original Studio Electronic Press Kit (EPK); Deleted Scenes, Gore Outtakes, Still Gallery and Promotional Trailers

The 2-disc 4K UHD/BD arrives in a dual-hub black keepcase with a Reversible Wrap, and as this is a film that has always had shitty artwork previously I appreciate that we get 2 new artworks that look terrific. Inside there's a Synapse Films Catalog and an 8-Page Booklet with “It’s Always Something with a Virgin” Liner notes by Corey Danna that digs intot he genesis of the film, casting, the script, the low-budget shoot, and of course it's poor distribution history and revival. 

Special Features: 
- Cast and crew Audio Commentary, featuring director Mike Mendez
- “Lords of Hell” Audio Commentary featuring Saul and Dickie-Boy
- Video Tour of both THE CONVENT and KILLERS film locations
- Vintage “Making of” featurette
- Vintage original studio Electronic Press Kit (EPK)
- “It’s Always Something with a Virgin” Liner notes booklet from Corey Danna
- Deleted Scene
- Gore Outtakes
- Still Gallery
- Promotional trailers
- Reversible cover art

Buy It!
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