THE CREEPS (1997) (Blu-ray Review)

THE CREEPS (1997)

Label: Full Moon Entertainment
Region Code: Region-FREE
Rating: PG-13
Duration: 75 Minutes
Audio: English Dolby Digital 2.0, Dolby Digital 5.1 
Video: 1080p HD Widescreen (2.35:1)
Director: Charles Band
Cast: Rhonda Griffin, Justin Lauer, Bill Moynihan, Kristin Norton, Jon Simanton, Joe Smith, Phil Fondacaro, Thomas Wellington 

Ahhh, more late 90's Full Moon cheese dripping its way onto Blu-ray, this time we have a slice of dwarfsploiltation directed by Charles Band (Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn). We begin with a cute young woman named Anna Quarrels (Rhonda Griffin), a librarian at the rare books annex of the local library, approached by a weird portly man named Dr. Winston Berber (Bill Moynihan) who is there masquerading as someone he's not to study the original handwritten manuscript of Mary Shelley's original "Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus". His credentials check out and she let's him in to view the rare tome, but the unscrupulous Berber switches the manuscript with a fake and steals away the original for his own nefarious purposes. 

After Berber leaves she discovers the theft, but does not report it to her boss, Miss Christina (Kristin Norton), a lesbian who lusts after innocent Anne on a daily basis, whom with her lanky build and Cheshire smile she sort of reminded me of a young Mary Woronov (Sugar Cookies). Fearing she will lose her job Anne instead contacts a private detective whose day job is clerking at a local VHS rental store, where of course Full Moon titles are in high-demand.

The detective is able to finger point who the thief is, but is unable to track down the culprit's whereabouts. No matter, Berber soon enough arrives at the library a few days later, not realizing that Anne is on to his theft. He's there to pilfer a coveted first edition of Bram Stoker's "Dracula", and when Anne confronts the stammering thief he kidnaps her, taking her back to his laboratory. So, what's this book-napper up to? He has invented a Archetype Inducer, a contraption that will allow him to 'transform mythic, cultural and literary archetypes into living entities', of course! 

Berber has developed a way to bring the literary creations Dracula, The Mummy, Wolfman and Frankenstein's Monster from the pages of horror fiction into the realm of reality, somehow involving the original books, which is never explained. His plan also involves sacrificing the virginal librarian to bring the monsters to life, however, during the involved process, which involves Berber's stammering his way through a monologue and fiddling with his beakers and gadgets, Anne escapes with the help of David. However, Berber's mad science experiment is already underway and when his creations emerge from their test tubes, but there's a hiccup, they're only pint-sized versions of their literary counterparts - and there you have it, miniature Universal monsters, how's that for a whacky high concept idea? All told be have 3 foot versions of The Mummy (Joe Smith), Frankenstein's monster (Thomas Wellington), the Wolfman (Jon Simanton), and the red-eyed Dracula (Phil Fondacaro, Ghoulies)

Unfortunately the movie is a bit of a wreck, the acting is uniformly terrible, with the exception of the always fun Phil Fondacaro, it's amateur hour all show long. Maybe the worst of them all is the stammering Moynihan as Berber, it's been a long time since I've seen acting that bad. Star Rhonda Griffin is not much better, most everyone here is sub-Troma bad, so painful, though I love it when she threatens the book thief with "homosexual gang rape" in jail, haha. What the movie lacks in budget and thespian skill is only made worse by the teen-humor that abounds, the movie is so damn goofy, along the lines of Head of the Family (1996) but the acting is a rung lower this time around, if you can believe that.  

I liked the make-up effects from fx creator Greg Bartalos (From Beyond) , the monsters look pretty decent, low-budget, but not too bad. The only one to have a speaking part is Phil Fondacaro as Dracula, with a nod to Christopher Lee's take on the vampire with eerie bloodshot eyes. Fondacaro turns in a good performance, by several measures the most accomplished actor on the set, but the character is also poorly written and goofy, too.
   
Audio/Video: The Creeps (1997) bdebuts on Blu-ray from Full Moon in 1080p HD framed in the widescreen scope aspect ratio (2.35:1). Advertised as being culled from the original 35mm negative the image appears a bit on the dark side to me, colors are muted, and the brightness looks turned down a bit much. The source also show numerous instances of dirt, debris and white speckling, detail is lacking and the depth and clarity are non-existent, it's a pretty thick looking image.  Audio on the disc includes both Dolby Digital 2.0 and surround 5.1, as with other Full Moon Blu-ray releases they'e opted for no lossless audio or subtitles.  

Extras on the disc include 15-minutes of Full Moon trailers and a 23-minute vintage Videozone behind-the-scenes featurette. The PQ leave  A LOT to be desired, this looks better than the previously issues DVD releases, but not by much. 

Special Features:  
- Original Full Moon Trailers: Ravenwolf Towers (2 min), Head of the Family (2 min), Killjoy's Psycho Circus (2 min), Puppet Master 2 (2 min), Puppet Master 3 (2 min), Trancers 2 (3 min), Specters (2 min) 
- Vintage THE CREEPS Videozone behind-the-scenes featurette (24 min) 

As bad as the acting is, and as poorly written as the story turns out to be, I did have some fun with this monster mash-up, mostly reveling in how bad it is. The stuff I enjoyed was a lot of Miss Christina (Norton) stuff, who winds up masturabting to a first edition of Jane Eyre at the library, then kidnapped by the mini-monsters, baring her breasts and inexplicably being turned into an operatic Valkyrie by the Archetype Inducer, a lot of goofiness going on here. The finale is a thing of mind melting stupidity, it all just sort of falls apart, but if you're a fan of bad movies... 2/5

MERIDIAN (1990) (Full Moon Blu-ray Review)

MERIDIAN (1990) 

Label: Full Moon Features
Region Code: Region-FREE
Duration: 85 Minutes
Video: 1080p HD Widescreen 
Audio: English Dolby Digital 2.0, Dolby Digital 5.1 
Director: Charles Band
Cast: Sherilyn Fenn, Malcolm Jamieson, Hilary Mason, Alex Daniels, Phil Fondacaro

In Meridian (1990) Sherilyn Fenn (Twin Peaks) stars as Catherine Bomarzini who returns to her family's ancestral castle in Italy after the death of her father. There she reunites with her former childhood nanny, the kindly Martha (Hilary Mason, Dolls) who watches after the castle and has cared for her family for generations. What Catherine does not know is that her inherited birthright includes a secret family curse, one that promises Gothic romance and tragedy, haunting visions and some troubling date-rape by a hairy-beast! 

After arriving at the castle Catherine is joined by her art school classmate Gina (Charlie Spradling)who is employed in Italy doing art restoration for a local church, together they go out for a night on the town and wind up at the Fauvrey's World of Wonders carnival. The women are so impressed by the wonderment of magician  Lawrence Fauvrey (Malcolm Jamieson) that they invites him and his troupe of carnie performers back to the castle for some late-night dinner and wine. The magician seems charming and well-mannered, but his evil dwarf (Phil Fondacaro, Ghoulies 2) drugs the women's wine and the night devolves to a hallucinatory rape and orgy scene, featuring a hairy-backed beast who fornicates with the drugged Catherine. 

Afterward, despite the date-rape, Catherine maintains a weird relationship with the rape-y magician, who it turns out has a twin brother. One is good, one is evil, both are cursed, and are somehow entwined into Bomarzini family history. Soon after Catherine begins having visions of a murdered woman in white around the castle, when she tells Martha of her visions the old woman brushes it off as an old family superstition, but as the visions become stronger she reluctantly reveals that the woman she is seeing is Catherine's own aunt, who was murdered years ago by someone from the Fauvrey's World of Wonders. Ah, the date-rapey plot thickens. 

The movie promised Gothic romance along the lines of Dracula by way of Beauty and the Beast, it also promises plenty of nude Sherilyn Fenn, which it delivers to varying degrees, but the movie is a hot mess with a half-hearted script written by regular Full Moon scribe Dennis Paoli, whom in the past has done some great work with Stuart Gordon (Pit and the Pendulum, From Beyond, Re-Animator), but this cursed Gothic romance doesn't flow so well, and throwing rape into a romance is just troubling. What it does have going for it aside from an amply nude Fenn, who is stunning, is that it was lensed by cinematographer Mac Ahlberg (Hell Night, From Beyond) who gives the movie a nice sumptuous look on what was surely a shoestring budget> We also get a decent score from the talented Pino Donaggio (Carrie, Dressed to Kill), and some competent direction from Full Moon impresario Charles Band. It's not the most engaging movie you will watch this week, or maybe even today, but it has some keen Gothic elements and that peculiar Full Moon visual style that makes me nostalgic for the 90s, but like I said, the overall movie is a drawn-out romance yawner, not helping matters is the fact that the romance is triggered by a drug-induced date-rape! 

The real draw here is Sherilyn Fenn who would this same year go onto TV fame with David Lynch's Twin Peaks as the sweater-rockin' Audrey Horne, she is kind enough to bare her voluptuous top-shelf assets multiple times throughout, most notably in an extended rape-seduction scene, which was nice but the sexual politics of this things are twisted indeed, if you can get beyond that there are some cheap Gothic-tinged thrills to be had and plenty of Sherilyn Fenn in 1080p HD

The movie arrives on single-disc Blu-ray from Full Moon and is advertised as being restored from the original 35mm camera negatives. The end result is a mixed bag, it looks very nice framed in widescreen, it is a step-up in all the expected areas, however the image is a bit dark and thick at times, but this is the best the movie has looked on home video to date, it's just not the most crisp and wonderful HD image you could hope for. While advertised as being sourced from the OCN there are numerous instances of dirt, debris and slight print damage that I would typically associate as coming from a theatrical print, but I don't have any info on that other than what is advertised on the disc. That being said, I was pleased with what we have, it's not reference quality, but it beats the snot out of the previous fullframe DVD releases. Like all of Full Moon's Blu-rays up to this point they have forgone a lossless audio option and go with choice of Dolby Digital 2.0 and 5.1 mixes, the stereo is they way to go here, the surround mix is forced and front-centric.
Extras on the disc are limited to a vintage 5-min behind-the-scenes featurette and a selection of Full Moon trailers, including one for Meridian under the alternate title of The Ravaging. 

THE GARBAGE PAIL KIDS MOVIE (1987) (Blu-ray Review)

THE GARBAGE PAIL KIDS MOVIE (1987) 

Label: Scream Factory
Region Code: A
Rating: PG
Duration: 97 Minutes
Audio: English DTS-HD MA Mono 2.0
Video: 1080p HD Widescreen (1.85:1) 
Director: Rod Amateau
Cast: MacKenzie Astin, Anthony Newley, Katie Barberi, Phil Fondacaro, Debbie Lee Carrington

Your favorite grime bandits come to life with all the farts, snot and vomit you can take in this hilarious film full of "gross-out humor" (The New York Times). Based on the wildly popular and irreverent trading cards, The Garbage Pail Kids® Movie stars Mackenzie Astin (Iron Will, Wyatt Earp) as a perfectly nice teenager who discovers the Kids...to his great disgust!

When Dodger (Astin) accidentally releases the Kids from their magical trash can prison, all smell breaks loose. Despite their offensive personal habits – and attitude problems – Dodger soon becomes fond of the Kids. But when Messy Tessie, Foul Phil, Valerie Vomit and the whole misfit crew join his fight against thuggish bullies, their efforts just might land them behind bars at the State Home for the Ugly!

I admit that sometimes I watch a '80s cheesy horror movie and it slides by with a nod of approval based solely on some form of nostalgia I have for it. Maybe because I saw it at a formative age on a sleepover or for some other ephemeral reason that keeps these movie, not all of them good, close to my heart, and I know it is the same way for many other movie watchers. I mean we all know that Wes Craven's Deadly Friend is not a good movie by any standard, but I'll be damned if I don't watch it once a year and love every corny minute of it. When this movie came to the cinema back in '87 I was fourteen and the Garbage Pail Kids trading cards craze had passed me by as I pursued harder horror movies and the attention of teen women... sadly, I found plenty of hard-edged horror and not so much of the other. Now in my early forties I find myself watching The Garbage ail Kids Movie for the first time with the new Blu-ray release from Scream Factory, it's time to find out now if I missed out or ad just delayed the agony. 

First thing first, this damn movie doesn't make a whole lot of sense but such as it is we have a young boy named Dodger (Mackenzie Astin, the younger brother of the more famous Sean Astin) who works for an antiques dealer named Captain Manzini (singer/songwriter Anthony Newley), a guy who seemed pretty creepy to me, and not someone who I would let my kids work for, but as with most '80s movie the kids parents are nowhere to be found. Dodger is being harassed throughout the movie by a local thug named Juice (Ron MacLachlan) who seems to exist solely to make life miserable for young Dodger. Why this street tough and possible drug pusher has it out for the pint-sized Dodger I could not tell you, but he definitely had a chip on his shoulder for the kid.  Maybe it because his fashion-obsessed girlfriend Tangerine (Katie Barberi) has a thing for Dodger, what ensues is a bit of a rote '80s love story between Tangerine and Dodger, though it doesn't have the charm of Mikey and Andrea from the beloved Goonies, but the movie does have some strange Amblin-type charms about it. 

The actual Garbage Pail Kids come into play when Dodger accidentally knocks over a trash can at Captain Manzini's curiosity shoppe, releasing seven ugly kids into the world, who turn out to be... from outer space?  We have the leather jacketed Greaser Greg, the snot-nosed Messy Tessie, the gaseous Windy Winston, the vomitous Valerie Vomit, the foul-breathed Foul Phil, zit-faced Nat Nerd who pisses his pants a lot and half girl, half alligator Ali Gator. After which for some reason dodger has these pint-sized weirdos down in the basement sewing '80s fashions for his sweetheart Tangerine to sell, this is some sort of weird ugly-kid sweat shop arrangement they have going on here. The gross kids are a fun with a lot of oozing snot, piss and flatulence happening while trying to do good in the world. They try anyway, in between committing grand theft auto, brawling at the toughest bar in the world and designing killer '80s fashions, it's very convoluted, I wanted to see more gross-out humor, and while there is a bit of it, the artificially attempt to sweeten the uglies up for the kiddies, which is a misstep in my opinion. 

There's also a bizarre thread about the State Home for the Ugly where the unattractive members of society are brought to before they're crushed in a car compactor, which is just one in a long line of strange messages to throw into a kids movie, even for the eighties this was strange. The movie is not a very good, I found it a drag to sit through while I periodically checked my messages, but I will say that I liked the Garbage Pail Kids designs created by makeup effects designer John Carl Buechler (Troll, Dolls, Ghoulies) who did a great job bringing these foul kids to the big screen. The gross-out humor is fun but the tone is so so uneven and the story is just a head-scratcher, it seems the writers had no idea who they were writing for, is this for young kids or teens, the movie bombed at the box office either way, which is not surprising. I remember at the time there was some uproar with parents groups pushing to ban the movie from theaters altogether, but the movie is such a mess that it came and went with little notice, garnering a cult movie following through the years afterward. 

It just feels like a cash grab, the story is awful, the writing is lame-brained, the performances are decent, but the special effects work is a lot of fun if you're into such things, but the movie is a strange and bizarre entry of '80s kiddie-cinema. If I had to figure what keeps fans coming back to this it would be a few choice lines of dialogue from the meat-headed character Juice, who when questioned by Tangerine why he is so awful to Dodger responds "it's a matter of principle!", which is probably the most quoted line in the movie, and with good reason, it's all in the delivery. 

The Blu-ray from Scream Factory is a mixed bag, the image is presented in 1080p HD widescreen (1.865:1) but is a little murky and overly grainy during the darker scenes, colors are a bit muted. Not having watched the previous standard definition presentation I can only assume this is a step-up from that, but this is not exactly eye-popping HD. The English DTS-HD MA Mono 2.0 is solid and clean, it may not be dynamic but it had some minor depth to it and it does the job, optional subtitles are provided. 

Scream Factory have gone above and beyond with the extras with brand new Red Short Pictures prodiced interviews with Special Makeup Effects Creator John Carl Buechler And Makeup Effects Artist Gino Crognale, First Assistant Director Thomas A. Irvine, and actor Mackenzie Astin,  Arturo Gil and Kevin Thompson, plus a theatrical trailer.  John Carl Buechler and Gino Crognale ive a good accounting of coming onto the project and creating the characters based on the trading card designs, these two have appeared in many Scream Factory extras and are always a blast to watch. they've done some truly excellent work through the years, and while this is far from their best work it probably the part of the movie I loved the most. First Assistant Director Thomas A. Irvine doesn't seem to remember much fine detail about making the movie thirty years ago, but he does give some perspective, stating that the movie seemed to make more sense when they were making it, ha ha. Garbage Pail Kids Actors Arturo Gil (Windy Winston) and Kevin Thompson (Ali Gator) on the other hand remember quite a lot and go into detail about the making of the movie from their perspective, going into how well they were treated on-set and working with John Carl Buechler and his effects team. 

The most substantial interview is a twenty-seven minute interview with star Mackenzie Astin who is fully aware of the movie's cult-status and how the movie was received at the time it tanked in theatres. He recalls everything in detail, speaking about working with each of the cast and crew, dropping that at the start of the movie he was dating co-star Katie Barberi, who despite looking significantly older than him at the time was only a year or two older. he's fun and animated, making this the crown-jewel of the bonus features. There's also a trailer for the movie, a sleeve of reversible artwork and a slipcover with new artwork from Scream illustrator Nathan Millner. 

Special Features: 
- NEW The Effects Of The Garbage Pail Kids Movie – Interviews With Special Makeup Effects Creator John Carl Buechler And Makeup Effects Artist Gino Crognale (12 Mins) HD 
- NEW On The Set – An Interview With First Assistant Director Thomas A. Irvine (6 Mins) HD 
- NEW The Artful Dodger – An Interview With Actor Mackenzie Astin (27 Mins) HD 
- NEW The Kids Aren't All Right – Interviews With Garbage Pail Kids Actors Arturo Gil (Windy Winston) And Kevin Thompson (Ali Gator) (21 Mins) HD 
- Theatrical Traile3 (2 Mins) HD 

Not a good movie but a very curious slice of kiddie-cinema from the eighties that will certainly entertain you for all the wrong reasons, if you're fan of trashy b-movie cinema you're in for a treat, a kids movie with pissy pants, black magic and genocide. The new bonus features from Scream Factory go far and above anything the movie could possibly deserve, and that's why we love them, like Dodger they love the ugly kids too. 2/5

r

TROLL / TROLL 2 (Blu-ray Review)

TROLL(1986) / TROLL 2 (1991) 
plus BEST WORST MOVIE (2010)

2-Disc Limited Edition DVD/BD 

TROLL (1986) 
Label: Scream Factory
Region Code: A
Rated: PG-13 
Duration: 82 Minutes 
Audio: English DTS-HD MA 2.0 Stereo
Video: HD Widescreen (1.85:1) 
Director: John Carl Buechler
Cast: June Lockhart, Michael Moriarty, Anne Lockhart, Brad Hall, Gary Sandy, Jenny Beck, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Noah Hathaway, Phil Fondacaro, Shelley Hack, Sonny Bono

Synopsis: Lock the doors and pull out the weed-wacker for this house party of horror! One family is about to find out there's no place like home when a troublesome troll starts taking over their building, transforming each apartment into an overgrown garden of ancient evil and turning tenants into a horde of hairy hobgoblins! Michael Moriarty and Julia Louis-Dreyfus star in this super-slimy scare-fest that's "a special-effects pig-out" (Daily News)!

The original Troll film is a fun kids movie about a young girl named Wendy who is possessed by a wizard troll and his bid to break down the barriers between the troll world and the modern world, and of course this all takes place inside a small apartment in San Francisco. Classing up this b-movie slice of fantasy film making are the very cool special effects work from John Carl Buechler and his team, the main troll Torok is a full-on body suit with some great facial articulation, an expressive little beast with actor Phil Fondacaro (Ghoulies 2) beneath the make-up doing a bang-up job. Fondacaro also appearing in a dual role as a pint-sized professor who befriends the young Wendy, only to be transformed into a troll-creature himself. 

The movie has a great cast, we have the always awesome Michael Moriarty from Larry Cohen's The Stuff (1985) as Wendy's father Harry Potter - that's right, Harry Potter! Moriarty steals the show in my opinion in a strange scene as he dances along to Blue Cheer's "Summertime Blues" in a strange scene that has nothing to do with trolls whatsoever. His son Harry Potter Jr. (Noah Hathaway) seems to be the only one who recognizes that his sister is acting strange, with him on the receiving end of biting attacks and groin punches. With his parent's turning a blind eye to Wendy's increasingly erratic behavior he confides in a sweet old lady who lives in an upstairs apartment, Eunice, played by June Lockhart, of She-Wolf of London (1946) fame, she adds a wonderful, caring and magical flavor to the movie and tells young Harry about what's happened to his sister, and of brewing war between trolls and mankind, one with ancient origins and which she was part of. Eunice is a centuries old witch who has been standing guard at the gates of reality, enlisting the aid off Henry to protect the world from the evil troll Torok who seems about ready to declare war on mankind, yet again. 

This is just fun stuff, totally kiddie friendly movie and a great gateway film to introduce your kids to horror, right alongside Monster squad and The Gate. This is not a great film, but it's got a lot of heart and some memorable weirdness, including the appearance of sonny Bono as a swinging neighbor, and a pre-Seinfeld Julia Louis-Dreyfus. 

Special Features: 
- NEW The Making of TROLL Featuring Interviews With Director John Carl Buechler, Producer Charles Band, Writer Ed Naha, Composer Richard Band, Special Effects Artists John Vulich And Gino Crognale, Visual Effects Artists Jim Aupperle, James Belhovek, Linda Drake And Kevin Kutchaver (50 Mins) HD 
- Theatrical Trailer (3 Mins) HD 
- Behind The Scenes Still Gallery (1 Min) HD 

TROLL 2 (1991) 
Label: Scream Factory
Region Code: A
Rated: PG-13
Duration: 95 Minutes 
Audio: English DTS-HD MA 2.0 Stereo
Video: HD Widescreen (1.85:1) 
Director: Claudio Fragasso
Cast: Michael Stephenson, Connie Young, George Hardy, Margo Prey, Robert Ormsby

Synopsis: Those greedy goblins are back and hungrier than ever in this gourmet gross-out! Disguised as friendly country folk, a pugnacious posse of people-eating trolls lures visitors to their town. But a family of four is about to discover this place is a real tourist trap... and now, the no-good gnomes must be destroyed before the family gets flambéed... and the world becomes a buffet in this feeding frenzy of fear!

Five years after Troll came Troll 2 from Italian director Claudio Fragasso, a movie originally titles Goblins that had nothing to do with John Carl Buechler's original film, but the distributor slapped on the Troll 2 title to cash-in on Troll's success at the box office. widely regarded as one of the worst movies ever made, which is a fun thought, but this is not accurate. In fact, I have a pile of movies sitting right here within arm's reach which are infinitely worse movies, so bad in fact that I don't even want to review them because I typically choose to celebrate movies, not shit on them. 

Anyone who thinks this is the worst movie ever made simply has not seen enough movies, or the wrong types of movies, or are just not familiar with the other movie of Claudio Fragasso, for instance Hell of the Living Dead (1980), Rats: Night of Terror (1884) and Beyond Darkness (1990) - all of which are equally strange and poorly made, he was an exploitation director churning out some cheap knock-offs, they're not high art but they're not the worst movies ever made, they're nowhere near as bad as Manos:The Hands of Fate, but like that movie they're very entertaining for a myriad of awful reasons, but none are the WORST. It's also worth mentioning that all of these films have an audience and have been released on Blu-ray! 

The story such as it is concerns a nuclear family who arrange through nefarious means to swap homes with a rural family from the town of Nilbog, because the father Michael (George Hardy) has always dreamed of being a farmer, much to the chagrin of his teenage daughter Holly (McFarland) and son Joshua (Stephenson) who are in no hurry to trade in their city-life for farmer's tans. What they don't know is that Nilbog has been overrun by evil goblins who want to eat them. Before they can eat them they have to trick the family into consuming a green liquid which they bake into tasty treats. 

The young Joshua is haunted by visions of his dead grandfather Seth (Robert Ormsby) who warns him throughout the movie of the impending danger and the evil of the goblins. On the night they arrive in Nilbog the spectral grampa warns him to not let the family eat the green-tainted food left for them by the exchange family, with no other options the boy jumps up on the table and pisses all over the food! This is my favorite scene, and is followed by his father carrying the boy to his room while yelling how "you can't piss on hospitality!"

There's a b-story involving Holly's boyfriend  Elliot (Wright) and his friends who follow the family to the town of Nilbog, which *SPOILER* is Goblin spelled backwards! They have an encounter with the Goblin Queen Creedence Leonore Gielgud played by Deborah Reed, who looks, acts and sounds like she would make a fun horror-host on late-night TV. She tricks them into drinking the green liquid and they are transformed into human-plants with small branches sprouting from their fingertips, sweating green fluid, it's an oddly effective special effect, and in my younger years it definitely made my skin crawl. However, unlike Troll (1986) the creature effects are very poor, sad rubber-faced goblins (not trolls mind you!) who seem to be wearing a burlap sacks for clothing.

A lot of the weirdness of the movie comes from the fact that the Italian director and crew knew almost no English and the Italian written script was translated directly, and put into the mouths of non-actors, who then received little direction, they're doing the best they can, but with a clunky dialogue like "I'm the victim of a nocturnal rapture. I have to release my lowest instincts with a woman", there's just not much you can do with it. But some of the unintentional humor is classic stuff and has proven to keep fans coming back for more, time and time again. That bit where Elliot is punched in the nuts by Holly always makes me laugh, the part where he says that's how guys are turned homosexual, by being blasted in the nuts! 

Special Features: 
- NEW Audio Commentary With Actors George Hardy And Deborah Reed
- Theatrical Trailer

BEST WORST MOVIE (2010
Label: Scream Factory
Region Code: 1
Rated: Unrated
Duration: 93 Minutes 
Audio: English Dolby Digital Surround 5.1, Dolby Digital Stereo 2.0  
Video: Anamorphic Widescreen (1.78:1) 
Director: Michael Stephenson
Cast: Margo Prey, Robert Ormsby, Rossella Drudi, Claudio Fragasso, Connie Young, Michael Stephenson, George Hardy

Also included with the first 5,000 copies of the Troll/Troll 2 Blu-ray is a DVD of Michael Stephenson's loving doc Best Worst Movie (2010) which minus many extras on the Troll 2 Blu-ray  offers pretty much anything you could ever want to know about the making of the cult-classic, a bittersweet look and the infamous awful movie. The doc is directed by former child star Michael Stephenson who played the freckle-faced boy Joshua in the movie, he sort of filters the experience through the eyes of actor George Hardy who played his hospitality respecting father in Troll 2, and has since become a successful dentist. 

It's a Hell of a fun watch with the varying stories of making the movie, some new it was awful, some had no idea and everyone is surprised by the cult-following the movie has garnered through the years, though director Fragasso doesn't seem to thrilled to hear people celebrating his movie as one of the worst movies ever made, even if they call it the "best" worst movie, and who can blame the guy, I imagine it takes a special mindset and brand of self awareness to not just appreciate, but to celebrate the fact that you've made a bad movie, and he made a lot of them. Every shitty movie should have a doc celebrating it that is this entertaining. 

The disc also includes a ton of special features which expand on the movie, including nearly an hour of deleted scenes and extended interviews, several music video tributes to the movie, and Q and A with the director and a very cool interview with the Goblin queen herself Deborah Reed who once again dons the wardrobe!

Special Features: 
- Deleted Scenes And Interviews (57 Mins)
- A Public Service Announcement From George Hardy (1 Min)
- Kingdom Of The Goblins (4 Mins) 
- Meat Noam Telnobody 2 (6 Mins) 
- Provocative Interview With Troll 2’s Goblin Queen, Deborah Reed (13 Mins)
- George Hardy Doesn’t Know My Name (4 Mins) 
- Monstrous Music Video (4 Mins) 
- Filmmaker Q and A with Creative Screenwriting Magazine (82 Mins) 
- Indie Trailer ( 2 Mins) 
- Filmmaker Bio 
- About Docurama
- Docurama Trailers (9 Mins) 

Another fun double-feature from Scream Factory with some great extras, that making of doc for Troll (1986) alone makes it worth a purchase, it might even be better than the actual movie itself, but I still love the movie. Troll 2 (1991) is not a good movie but it is most definitely not the worst movie ever made, but we'll keep letting the hipsters say it if it makes 'em happy. The fact that the first 5000 of these Blu-ray sets will include the Best Worst Movie (2010) doc is a nifty value-added bonus, I give this a high recommend if you're a fan of either of the movies, worth the upgrade. 3/5

GHOULIES (1985) / GHOULIES II (1987)

GHOULIES (1985) / GHOULIES II (1987) 

Label: Scream Factory 
Duration: 81 Minutes, 89 Minutes 

Region Code: A

Rating: PG-13 
Audio: English DTS-HD MA 5.1, English DTS-HD MA 2.0 

Video: 1080p HD Widescreen (1.85:1) 

Director: Luca Bercovici, Albert Band

Cast: Peter Liapis, Lisa Pelkin, Michael Des Barres, Jack Nance,  Mariska Hargitay, Scott Thomson, Keith Joe Dick, Kerry remsen, Phil Fondacaro, William Butler, Royal Dano, J. Downing, Damon Martin

GHOULIES (1985) 

College student Jonathan Graves (Peter Liapis) cannot believe his good fortune when he inherits a sweet mansion that once belonged to his estranged father Malcolm Graves. He moves in right away with girlfriend Rebecca (Lisa Pelkin) with plans to renovate it, but he becomes increasingly obsessed with the occult following the discovery of his journal, turns out that Dad was something of a Warlock. The new found interest in the occult disturbs Rebecca but Jonathan secretly  continues to dabble without her knowledge down in the creepy basement. When the two host a house warming party Jonathan suggest to his friends that they should hold an occult ritual in an effort to summon a demon, which sounds like a great idea to a roomful of drunks. Gathered in the basement Jonathan draws a pentagram and other ritualistic symbols on the floor, but it doesn't seem to summon much of anything... at least at first. It turns out that the spell casting was a success, having conjured not just series of supernatural creatures but a pair of pint-sized minion named Greedigut (Tamara De Treaux) and Grizzel (Peter Risch), who seemingly set out to help Jonathan master his nascent occult powers. 

Rebecca and Jonathan host yet another party and invite the same group of friends, an anthology of '80s stereotypes, the drug-addled burnouts, the nerd, a horny beefcake and two young female companions. Notably among them is the very attractive Mariska Hargitay, the future star of TVs Law and Order: SVU, in her very first onscreen role. The group fall under the control of Jonathan, who is now much stronger, his eyes now glowing with satanic power, who coerces them into performing another ritual, but it turns out that he has been duped by his diminutive minions who only helped him perform the ritual to resurrect their true master, Jonathan's deceased father Michael Graves (Michael Des Barres) who emerges from his grave to reap a terrible vengeance upon the party goers with some help from his ghoulie demon-spawn.

Viewers might be thrown off by the fact that the creatures take a bit of a back seat to Jonathan's exploration of occult in the first film, only coming out to play from time to time in short bursts before receding back into the shadows for long stretches. I still love the creature design, my favorite has feline features, while another has the appearance of a rat, and then there's the iconic ghoulies recognized from the advertising campaign, the slimy green-skinned goblins seen emerging from the crapper and apparently scaring young children away from proper potty training, if Charlie Band is to be believed. 

The cast is a bit stuff, Peter Liapis is wooden through and through as the apprentice warlock, as is the porcelain-skinned Lisa Pelkin, and poor Jack Nance (Wild at Heart) just looks lost during his own scenes, as the mansion's  caretaker.  On the other hand Michael Des Barres (one time singer of '80s rockers Power Station) is a lot of fun as the reanimated master of the occult, a blue-skinned spectre who at one point transforms into a horny blond babe (Bobbie Bressie, Mausoleum) to seduce a young man before strangling him with an elongated tongue. As a young teen I found this sexual switcheroo to be quite disturbing. In one of the more genuinely creepy moments a young woman is terrorized by a clown marionette, a gag borrowed from Poltergeist but with a green-ooze twist, it's good stuff. All of the murders are happening without Jonathan's knowledge and when he becomes aware that his friends have been murdered he must face off against his father in a battle of the black arts.

The finale is a bit of bust honestly, a ridiculous eye-zapping laser show of magic that is the most '80s and dated sequence in the entire damn movie, but you just gotta love it. I freely admit that the scares are few and far between throughout and that my own love for this one is largely based on overwhelming nostalgia, something I have always been able to muster with relative ease. Your own mileage may vary depending on your own level of nostalgia and love of cheesy b-movies, but if you enjoy other Full Moon Entertainment titles like Puppet Master I think it;s safe to say you will enjoy this one. 

Special Features: 

- Audio Commentary With Director/Co-writer Luca Bercovici

- FROM TOILETS TO TERROR: THE MAKING OF GHOULIES - New Interviews With Executive Producer Charles Band, Composer Richard Band, Actor Michael Des Barres And Special Effects Makeup Artist John Vulich (30 Mins) 

- Original Theatrical Trailer (2 Mins)
- Still Gallery (4 Min) (41 Images)

GHOULIES II (1986)

I remember hearing about Ghoulies II because of the inclusion of the band W.A.S.P. on the soundtrack, a tasty little track called "Scream Until You Like It" which was one of my favorite hair-metal bands at the time, it was an easy sell for a sixteen year old rocker who loved horror movies This time around the setting has changed from a musty mansion to a dilapidated carnival roadshow on it's last legs,  it's a great location with a built-in atmosphere which makes for a great setting. There's no Jack Nance this time around, but we do get Royal Fano (Killer Klowns from Outer Space) as Uncle Ned, the alcoholic proprietor of a fright house, who along with his nephew Larry (Damon Martin) must fight to keep the attraction open when the corporate financial baker arrives with pans to close down the attractions that are bleeding profit. 

Luckily for Uncle Ned, but unluckily for the fun house patrons, the ghastly ghoulies have taken up residence inside the attraction, adding an air of menace to the otherwise hokey scares. However, when Ned sees the demons inside the attraction he tries to stop them, but his nephew Larry and the crew assume he suffering from alcoholic hallucinations. Things kick into gear on the first night they open the attraction, particularly for two jaded kids and a group of trouble-making teens who wanna cause some trouble after the ghoulies break their boom box.

The sequel kicks the fun and the gore up a notch, while I enjoyed the first film the sequel is far and away the superior film, plus we have the added benefit that the creatures are front and center throughout, with more articulation and a more proactive role in the storyline. 

Special Features:
- MORE TOILETS MORE TERROR: THE MAKING OF GHOULIES II - New Interviews With With Executive Producer Charles Band, Actors Kerry Remsen And Donnie Jeffcoat, And Special Effects Artist Gino Crognale (17 Mins) 
- Rare Deleted Scenes (3 Mins)
- Original Theatrical Trailer(1 Mins) 
- Still Gallery (26 Images) 

Audio/Video: Scream Factory have crammed both films onto a single Blu-ray disc but the image quality is solid, there's a fine layer of film grain and with it some modest fine detail with minor depth and clarity, easily surpassing the old standard-def DVD, fans of both films will be pleased. Each film is given both English DTS-HD MA 2.0 and 5.1 options, with optional English subtitles. I prefer the surround option which while not the most lively presentation does wonders for the Richard Band score. 

Onto the extras for the first film we have a half-hour making of featurette with new interviews with Executive Producer Charles Band, Composer Richard Band, Actor Michael Des Barres And Special Effects Makeup Artist John Vulich, all of whom paint a fun picture of the film and are very up front with what kind of film it is. Then we have a theatrical trailer for the film, a still gallery and an audio commentary with Director/Co-writer Luca Bercovici which is a bit of a slog to be honest. 

Extras for the sequel include a shorter seventeen-minute making of featurette with New Interviews With Executive Producer Charles Band, Actors Kerry Remsen And Donnie Jeffcoat, And Special Effects Artist Gino Crognale. The actors discuss how exciting it was to be filming in Rome and touring Italy while Crognale has some great anecdotes about creating the effects for the film. 

Also included are three-minutes of alternate R-rated gore scenes that were originally included during the theatrical release of the film but have been missing since it made it's debut on home video, I think Scream missed an opportunity to sell a few more units by not presenting the film in it's original R-rated theatrical cut. The last of the extras are a theatrical trailer and a still gallery of promotional images and stills from the movie. The only thing missing would be the video for the W.A.S.P. tune "Scream Until You Like It" and an R-rated cut of the film. 

A solid double dose of '80s creature features and by far the best either film has ever looked on home video. The Ghoulies films are certainly not a tent-pole horror franchise but they are good, watchable b-movies with some fun elements. The first one seems a bit maligned by fans when compared to the second, but I do love the glowing green-eyed occult '80s party atmosphere of it, there's just not enough of the ghoulies in it. The sequel remedies that with more screen time for the pint-sized terrors and a fun carnival setting, plus a great tune from W.A.S.P. doesn't hurt either.