Tuesday, July 26, 2022

THE OLD MAN MOVIE (2019) (Unearthed Films Blu-ray Review)


Label: Unearthed Animation
Region Code: A
Rating: Unrated 
Duration: 88 Minutes 
Audio: Estonian DTS-HD MA 2.0 and 5.1, English Dub DTS-HD MA 2.0 and 5.1 with Optional English Subtitles 
Video: 1080p HD Widescreen (2.35:1)
Director: Peeter Ritso, Mikk M├Ągi

In the scatological Estonian-made stop-motion animation feature The Old Man Movie (2019) three screen-addict kids from the city are forced by their parents to spend their summer on their peculiar grandfather’s remote farm. Their grandfather is known to be a bit odd, spending most of his day out in his barn with his dairy cow making odd noises, the teat-squeezing madmen dispenses the creatures creamy lactose-riddled elixir straight from the cow's teat into his neighbors empty milk receptacles, much to their delight, and sometime straight into their faces - yeah, it feels a little dirty.

One of the first things The Old Man does is to literally feed the kids phone to his pig, which is followed by a sparkly blue digital fart, and he then puts the city slicker rascals to work shoveling shit out of the pig's pen, much to their dismay.  That night the trio accidentally allow the old man’s milk-cow to escape, unaware that if the cow is not properly milked within the next 24 hours the bovine's cream-swollen udders will explode, unleashing a cow-tastrophic milk-pocalypse. 

Leaving the youngest, and most inventive of the trio, back on the farm The Old Man and the older siblings hop aboard his farm tractor and set out in search of the his prized, if abused, cow. The search is made more difficult by the arrival of The Old Man's arch nemesis, his neighbor, a disgraced former cow-milker whose body is creepily infused with milk product after his own udderly awful milk-pocalypse years earlier. The guy, who looks like a milky Uncle Rock from Rick and Morty, has a deep-seated hatred for all things bovine. To that end he has enlists a trio of out of work loggers armed with all manner of toothy saw implements, in an effort to find the cow himself and cut off it's head before it can go moo-clear (like nuclear, but a cow, get it?). 

The weirdness does not stop there, The Old Man and and the kids will also encounter a horny tree who's a tractor slut, a Moby Dick esque adventure inside of a big bear's ass, and a pseudo-hippy music festival gathering who adopt the errant cow as their mascot, plus a final-boss battle with a giant robot bovine that is udderly ridiculous. On top of all that there's a premature Viking funeral, feisty farm animals, an old old hag that hocks sickly yellow loogies, and a ton of manure-related sight gags and kinky milk-facials that will have you second guessing your decision to let the kids watch this with you. 

Audio/Video: The Old Man Movie (2019) arrives on Blu-ray from Unearthed Films newly minted Unearthed Animation banner in 1080p HD widescreen (2.35:1). The stop-motion animations looks terrific with vivid colors that keeps things visually interesting throughout. There's no issues with compression that drew my eyes during my viewing, I was quite impressed. Audio comes by way of original Estonian via DTS-HD MA 2.0 and 5.1 or a newly created English Dub DTS-HD MA 2.0 and 5.1, both with Optional English subtitles. The new English dub was created by Jimmy Screamerclauz and friends, and as the stop-motion characters have no moving lips the English dub was my preferred options, it's really well done and sounded terrific. 

Extras include five The Old Man shorts that I believe are from the original web series that run about two-minutes each plus a selection of Unearthed Films trailers that runs about 14-minutes. The single-disc release arrives on a standard keepcase with a single-sided sleeve of artwork with artwork that is also featured on the slipcover and the disc itself. 

Special Features: 
- Original Language in Estonian with English subtitles
- New English Dub with English Subtitles 
- Old Man Shorts: The Taste of Cow! (2 min), My Cow Gave Birth! (2 min), The Old Man is tired (3 min), I Went to Sauna with Grandchildren! (2 min), The Old Hag Had Me Put An Implant (3 Min) 
- Trailers: The Old Man (Original Estonian Trailer) (2 min), The Old Man (English Dub Trailer) (3 min), Premutos (2 min), Ascetic (1 min), Untold Story (3 min), Evil Dead Trap (1 min), Hanger (2 min) 

It's not super dirty minded or adult-oriented, but there are some questionable milking practices happening, it's a wickedly gross comedy and I loved the semi-crude claymation style that complements the udderly ridiculous and off-kilter humor. This sort of did for milk what Jaws did for the ocean, and I think I'll be switching to Oat Milk from here on. I would highly recommended this for lovers of crude, rude and scatological animation, claymation oddities, and bizarre (sort of kiddie friendly) apocalypse films. I can honestly say this is the best animated milk-based apocalypse movie I have ever seen. 

Screenshots from the Unearthed Films Blu-ray: 


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