MCBASTARD'S MAUSOLEUM: CHILDREN SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS (1972) (50th Anniversay Collector's Edition Review)

CHILDREN SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS (1972)

50th Anniversary Collector's Edition

3-Disc 4K Ultra HD + Blu-ray

Label: VCI Entertainment

Duration: 86 Minutes 32 Seconds

Region Code: Region-Free

Rating: PG

Video: 2160p UHD Widescreen (1.85:1), 1080p HD Widescreen (1.85:1)

Audio: English PCM Stereo 2.0 Mono with Optional English Subtitles

Director: Bob Clark

Cast: Alan Ormsby, Valerie Mamches, Jeffrey Gillen, Anya Ormsby, Paul Cronin, Jane Daly, Roy Engleman, Robert Philip, Bruce Solomon, Seth Sklarey, Alecs Baird

Back before Bob Clark hit box office pay dirt with the teen sex-comedy Porky's and the nostalgic yuletide classic A Christmas Story the director cut his teeth in the world of low-budget independent horror cinema, and one of his earliest efforts was 1972's Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things (1972). Using friends from college and working with a measly budget of $50,000, Clark managed to complete Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things over the course of fourteen days. The result is an effective if off-kilter and wildly unbalanced zombie flick with an eerie psychotronic finale that creeped me out big-time as a kid, more so because it starts out as a black comedy and evolves into a terrifying zombie siege flick. Alan Ormsby, who co-wrote the script and stars in the film, deserves a fair share of credit for crafting the film's creepy zombie special effects as well using what looks to lot of wadded up toilet paper, clay and spirit gum.

Things kick-off with six members of a theater troupe lead by the mean-spirited douche-nozzle Alan (Alan Ormsby, screenwriter of Cat People) travelling by boat to an small island off the coast of Miami where the criminally insane have been buried for years. They arrive on the fog-drenched island and make their way through the canopy of overgrowth and crumbling headstones to a dilapidated shack where Alan dons a purple wizard's gown and informs the crew as to why they are on the island this eerie night... to perform a Satanic ritual meant to bring back the dead!

The crew dig up the grave of the recently dead Orville Dunworth (Seth Sklarey) and prop him up on a cross-shaped headstone, as the performers look on Alan recites an over-the-top incantation meant to bring about the undead. When Alan's recitation does absolutely nothing the deliciously bitchy Val (Valerie Mamches) pushes him aside and performs her own sarcastic incantation ...and the damn thing works, and while it's not immediately evident to the group the dead begin to crawl up from out of their graves! The group thinking they've failed again make their way back to the run down shack, bringing with them Orville's rotting corpse, unaware that hordes of flesh-hungry undead will soon lay lay siege upon them.

Not certain when I first saw Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things, but I am sure it was on broadcast TV back in the '80s during one of those awesome horror matinees I loved so damn much on WPIX or WGN, and I do remember it scared me quite a bit. The movie has a very slow build-up that is a bit of a slog to be honest, but I enjoyed it a bunch and the payoff of the zombie uprising is pretty damn great, erasing any issues I may have had with the funky pace up to that point

The character of theatre-troupe leader Alan is such an arrogant and unapologetic asshole, and I sort of love that about him, he's one of those characters you absolutely love to hate and he's hamming it up big-time here. I also love how Val throws insults right back at him, she has a lot of spunk and is the only one among the group to stand-up to the jerk. There's also a hippy dippy type character named Anya (Anya Ormsby, Deathdream) who is a seemingly spirit-sensitive young woman who has a complete meltdown, not unlike someone on a bad acid trip. You also have to love those groovy early seventies fashions - dig those vertical striped pants on Ormsby! The movie also has a real serious Scooby-Doo vibe about it, the colorful clothing worn by the troupe standing in contrast to the the pitch black darkness of the film.

The movies goes to some weird places, for instance they hold a wedding ceremony for Alan and the corpse of Orville, with Alan taking an unnatural liking to his new found corpse pal, but this friendship will definitely come back to bite him on his arrogant ass, just you watch. The movie is oozing with atmosphere, the fog-drenched island location is creepy stuff as are the zombie designs, with Alan Ormsby who did double duty creating many of the undead make-up for the movie. This is a seriously low-budget flick but the make-up applications are pretty effective, the standout being the undead star Orville, a flaky grey-skinned cadaver with a lot of presence about him for a dead guy.

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things is a fun, but not perfect, cult-classic, you can tell it was an early endeavor for director Bob Clark, who would go onto direct the more polished 'Nam horror-nightmare Deathdream and the stalk and slash classic Black Christmas before making the seminal teen boner-comedy Porky's and the beloved holiday favorite A Christmas Story, as well as the underrated Sherlock Holmes versus Jack the Ripper entry Murder By Decree. But this one is a bit shaky in it's construction, the tone is a mixed bag, yet it still works for me, I love the macabre sense of humor about it.

Audio/Video: Children shouldn't Play with Dead Things arrives on region-free 4K Ultra HD + Blu-ray from VCI Entertainment, advertised as a 50th Anniversary 4K Restoration, and the source looks to be in great shape with no major blemishes. Comparing it to the 2016 Blu-ray the first thing that jumps out at me is that it's significantly darker, which is not always for the better. Also, the framing is different with many scenes showing more information around the edges, and while there does look to be some DNR filtering it's quite improved over the previous Blu-ray which was completely wiped of grain. The Blu-ray screenshots at the bottom of the review will bare witness to this, with the UHD looking a bit more refined than even that. This low-budget zombie flick made on the cheap and was shot at night and very poorly lit, to that end it has never looked great on home video. It was a murky mess on previous editions and it's still that way on UHD. While the black levels on the UHD and Blu-ray are improved there is still some noticeable black crush in the darker exterior shots. Colors also seem muted as well, looking cooler than the 2016 Blu-ray, and notably there's no Dolby Vision HDR on this UHD to enhance them; but that duller look might also have something to do with the previous Blu-ray having been brightness boosted as many Blu-rays tended to be. In-motion I had no real issues with the colors on the UHD, but comparing the Blu-ray screenshots they have a less lustrous appearance and whites at times lean a bit on the greenish side of things. VCI were never an outfit that made the best use of the HD format to put it mildly, and their initial UHD offering leaves a lot to be desired, that said, to stay positive about it, we are getting better grain structures, less waxiness, more information in the frame, and a more stable image in general - but it's not gonna be a reference disc by any means.

Audio comes by way of a lossless linear PCM 2.0 mono with optional English subtitles. The track does a good job with dialogue, and the Carl Zittrer (Black Christmas, Porky's, Deranged) psychotronic score, which at times can be very eerie, particularly during a few of the slow-motions shots. There are very minor some source related issues like audio levels that drop a bit and some source related hiss but in general this is a solid audio presentation.

VCI's three-disc set features the feature film on UHD and Blu-ray, on both these discs we also get the archival Audio Commentary Alan Ormsby, Jane Daly and Anya Cronin which is moderated by David Gregory of Severin Films, this is a track that should please fans of the movie. Also on the movie discs are a brand new 63-min feature-length documentary Dreaming of Death: Bob Clark's Horror Films that is produced by 101 Films, this features Chris Alexander, Simon Fitzjohn, Paul Zaza, Richard Backus, Lynne Griffin, Art Hindle, and Ken Goch, who pay tribute to Clark, giving special attention to his earlier horror films. Both discs also feature the 3-min Trailer for the film.

The third disc is an extras only Blu-ray, which ports over most (but not all) of the previous extras as featured on the 2106 Blu-ray edition. The sole extra missing is the

abbreviated U.K. Version of the film that runs 78 mins, which featured a second audio commentary with Alan Ormbsy, again moderated by Gregory of Severin Films. So hang onto that edition, I think it's worth keeping. New is a the 34-min 2022 Alan Ormsby Interview conducted via video conference call wherein the actor/writer/director dives into his career and collaboration with the late Bob Clark making this film and others. her talks about channeling Vincent Price for his character as well as shooting a low-budget film and doing double-duty as the make-up/FX designer. There are some audio issues with this featurette and subtitles are provided.

The archival extras carried over from the 2016 release include Memories of Bob Clark: A tribute to the late Director (10 mins) with Alan Ormsby, Jane Daly and Anya Cronin reflecting on the legacy of Bob Clark, this is an audio only segment. There's the 2007 Grindhouse Q&A (11 mins) which took place during a double-feature screening of Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things and Deathdream (1974)featuring the participation of Ormsby, composer Carl Zittrer, and set decorator Albert Fisher. Confessions of a Grave Digger: Interview with Ken Goch (9 mins) who worked as part of the art department on the movie, and was promoted to A.D. while shooting Deranged. He speaks about working on the movie, offering insights about his late friend Bob Clark and swallowing lit joints to avoid being arrested. There's also Photo Gallery (5 mins), “Cemetery Mary” and “Dead Girls Don’t Say No” Music Videos by The Deadthings (8 mins), a brief 2-min Tribute Video, and the original Theatrical Trailer. There are also a selection of Radio Spots which play over a series of images from the movie with a text trivia track, which also goes into Alan Ormsby's Movie Monsters book and his Hugo: Man with a 100 Faces toy.

The three-disc set arrived in a dual-hubbed black keepcase with a Reversible Sleeve of Artwork, with both Blu-ray stacked on one of the hubs and the UHD on the other was not a huge fan of the artworks on the wraps, I preferred the illustrated movie poster artwork from the 2016 edition and wish they would have included it here. We also get a Slipcover with an alternate movie poster illustration which I liked quite a bit - it has a very NOTLD quality to it. Inside there's an 8-Page Illustrated Booklet with 'Bob Clark's Dead Things: Low-Budget Horror in the Sunshine State' Essay by Film Historian Patrick McCabe that explores the early career of Clark.

Special Features:

Disc 1: (Feature Film 4K UHD + Extras)

- NEW! Feature-length documentary Dreaming of Death: Bob Clark's Horror Films (63 min)

- Audio Commentary with Alan Ormsby, Jane Daly and Anya Cronin

Disc 2: (Feature Film HD + Extras)

- NEW! Feature-length documentary Dreaming of Death: Bob Clark's Horror Films (63 min)

- Original Theatrical Trailer (3 mins)

Disc 3: (Extras)

- NEW! 2022 Alan Ormsby Interview (34 min)

- Confessions of a Grave Digger: Interview with Ken Goch (9 mins)

- 2007 Grindhouse Q&A (11 mins)

- Memories of Bob Clark: A tribute to the late Director (10 mins)