SHARK KILLER (2015)

SHARK KILLER (2015)

Label: Image Entertainment
Rating: 15 Certificate
Duration: 84 Minutes
Region Code: B
Audio: English Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo 
Video: Anamorphic Widescreen (1.78:1) 
Director: Sheldon Wilson 
Cast: Derek Theler, Erica Cerra, Paul du Toit, Arnold Vosloo

The new age of straight-to-video b-movies sure ain't what it once was, gone are the days of of the low-budget Roger Corman produced creature features which despite budgetary shortcomings were loaded with plenty of action, ingenuity, and hordes of nude women -- say what you ill about Humanoids From the Deep an Up from the Depths -- they are entertaining drive-in fare through and through. Maybe my issue with this one is simply a matter of expectation, after seven days of the Discovery Channel's Shark week I was in the mood for some some cheap shark carnage and the tagline of "Your Beach Body is About to be Shark Meat" seemed to promise just that,  but it failed to deliver it in any way shape or form. I should have just thrown on Jaws 2 and I would have been a much happier camper. Unfortunately this movie is about ninety-percent a diamond heist action-adventure film and only ten-percent the shark carnage movie advertised -- and let me jus say up front that ten-percent is pretty weak with very little carnage and no gore whatsoever. 

Actor Derek Theler plays the somewhat hunky Chase Walker, a shark hunter who is knee-deep in pussy and also happens to be annoyed by the sight, sound and smell of the ocean, which is such a crazy quirk for someone who is a notorious shark hunter. It's supposed to be a quirky character trait, and  just wait until you hear the back story on that one (rolls eyes). He is tasked by his adoptive, douche-nozzle brother Jake (Paul du Toit) to track down a black-finned great white shark, that through convoluted means (as explained in the opening flash animation sequence) has swallowed an enormous uncut diamond which Jake was hired to acquire for a mafia-type Bond villain named Nix, played by Arnold Vosloo who you might remember as the Mummy character from the awful Mummy action-adventure films with Brendan Frasier. Unfortunately I think  Vosloo must have quite a gambling debt or alimony payment, how else do you explain his appearance in this sort of Syfy channel dreck, then again, I haven't seen him in much else these days so he was probably grateful for the work. Walker as played by Theler has a d-grade level Chris Pratt sort of charm, a likable rogue with a sense of humor an an uncanny knack for annoying Jake's lawyer, played by the very cute Erica Cerra, who tries to her best to resist his charm, but you know it's pointless to try and they will end up in each others arms sooner or later.

So, far from being the shark carnage movie I had hoped for this one is an action-adventure romp unfortunately more along the lines of Sahara with Matthew McConaughey than Romancing the Stone with Michael Douglass, only not as fun and on a much smaller scale with far less charisma. I do give the film some props for a fun beginning with Walker at the beach in Hawaii that channels both Jaws and Deep Blue Sea, but i goes downhill quickly after that. 

Stylistically this is not an awful movie, it's shot competently and had some good atmospheric lighting during a few scenes, the underwater shots are staged nicely and the cast seem like they're enjoying it for the dumb movie that it truly is, but there's only so much they can do with the material. The flash animated opening credit sequence is quite good at setting up the story and gives the movie a cool Bond type quality. The digital shark was a real problem for me though, very cheap looking and by far the worse offender of the film. I would avoid this unless you are streaming it on Netflix or Amazon Prime, save your money for something with a bit more bite to it. 2/5

VARSITY BLOOD (2013)

VARSITY BLOOD (2013)

Label: Image Entertainment UK
Region Code: 2 PAL
Duration: 82 Minutes
Rating: 15 Certificate 

Audio: English Dolby Digital 5.1

Video: Anamorphic Widescreen (1.78:1)
Director: Jake Helgren
Cast: Lexi Giovagnoli, Wesley Scott, Debbie Rochon, Natalie Peyton, Blair Jackson, Elyse Bigler, Jesse Ferraro, Chris Hlozek, Payton Wood

VARSITY BLOOD comes to us from the writer of BLOODY HOMECOMING who both writes and directs this high school set slasher - it's Halloween night and a group of small town jocks and cheerleaders head out to a farmhouse in the woods for some under-age drinking and promiscuous good times. Unfortunately for them someone wearing the hometown team native American warrior costume shows up with his tomahawk and they're not there to cheer on the team - they want sink their tomahawk into the teens nubile flesh. 

Kudos to Helgren for writing a group of teen character who are fleshed out more than the typical stalk and slash movie. Our final girl Hannah (Lexi Giovagnoli, BLOODY HOMECOMING)  is very likable as are most of the cast of characters though we have the mandatory assortment of douche nozzles and bitchy cheer-divas too - because it's just so much fun to watch them die, but we're rooting for quite a few kids with this one. The writing is pretty strong with some true wit and even some depth though not all of the young cast are up to the challenge of the written word. There are plenty of groan-inducing dialogue - particularly when each of the cast face off with our masked killer one on one, sometimes it's just the delivery but often the dialogue is just awful or a bit too corny.

From what I've seen from Jake Helgren's previous writing credit and with this film he is a obviously a huge slasher buff and as such he provides us with a decent masked murder hacking-up the kids - there's some true heart in this one. The mascot suit is a bit ridiculous and not at all practical but it is visually interesting. Unfortunately the suit is so bulky the guy in the costume cannot really add any character to the movement. 

As a low-budget slasher the film looks pretty damn decent - shot on digital we have some great chase sequences and reveals but some a few of the sequences are overly dark and not very well lit.Overall it does have a consistent tone but the score did nothing for me and doesn't muster up much in the way of atmosphere for me. 

The kills are pretty gruesome in a lo-fi sorta way but I give props to the filmmakers for not going super-digital and they seem to stick with mostly practical gore with some decent blood work and decapitations. Other than some budgetary limitations and  my main beef with the production  is the reveal of the killer's identity and everything after - the tone shifts so suddenly from a fairly straight-up slasher to hammy and convoluted camp-fest it took me right out of the movie and it never recovered.

VARSITY BLOOD is a fun slasher throwback with some decent kills and an semi-interesting masked killer but I cannot say I'll revisit this one again despite it having some heart and soul. It just doesn't do much to separate itself from the dozens of indie slashers that pop up on Netflix and Red Box these days - a decent one and done. 

The movie arrives on DVD in the Uk on August 18th from Image Entertainment and on the 19th here in the U.S. also from Image. 

DVD Review: THE INVOKING (2013)

THE INVOKING (2013) 

Label: Image Entertainment 

Region Code: 2 PAL 

Rating: 15 Certificate
Duration: 82 Minutes
Audio: English Dolby Digital 5.1
Video: Anamorphic Widescreen (1.78:1)
Cast: Josh Truax, D’Angelo Midili, Trin Miller
Director: Jeremy Berg

The Invoking (2013) is a low-budget psychological thriller from director Jeremy Berg which plays out at a rural farmhouse inherited by Samantha (Trin Miller). The property was willed to her by an estranged aunt. She along with three friends drive out to the farmhouse-in-the-woods for a weekend getaway and to check out the property. The aunt was the sister of Sam's birth mother who she only barely remembers as her parents died when she was very young. They are met at the property by a young creeper named Eric (D’Angelo Midili) who watches over the property and turns out to be a childhood friend of Samantha's, though she has no memory of him or the home where she spent her early years.

Samantha's friends Mark (Brandon Anthony), Roman (Josh Truax) and Caitlyn (Andi Norris) are a decent bunch of characters who manage not to be too annoying. Caityln is a bespectacled cutey, Roman's a bit of a tense guy and Mark is your standard issue indie-dude with a chin full of stubble who for reason unknown records sounds, maybe he's a sound editor and I missed something the first time around.

There's tension among the group with Roman strongly disliking the weirdo Eric who seems a bit obsessed with Samantha. Mark is having a nervous breakdown and Samantha is suffering nightmarish visions. The farmhouse seems to being having a negative impact on everyone and tempers soar while the groups collective psyche crumbles. 

I wouldn't classify this as a horror film but more a tense psychological slow-burn, a set-up with promise but I didn't love the movie. The locations used for the film is eerie rural landscapes and we get your standard issue farmhouse which isn't all that creepy, it's actually quite cozy. Slowly the tension builds but the payoff left me empty, it was creepy buck lacked a sense of dread I felt the story needed. Watching this is was just nonplussed from start to finish, it reminded me of a film I reviewed last year called Dead Souls (2013) which again was just a middle of the road watch.

The disc from Image Entertainment includes two audio commentaries and a behind-the-scenes making of doc that's actually a decent watch. A group of friends making a scary movie using a childhood home, I love a grassroots production I just wish I had loved the finished film as much as the participants clearly enjoyed making it.

Special Features:
- Commentary with Writer/Director Jeremy Berg, Producer Matt Medisch, and Writer/Producer John Portanova
- Commentary with Actors Trin Miller, D’Angelo Midili, and Andi Norris
- The Making of The Invoking: Behind the Scenes Documentary

Verdict: The Invoking (2013) just didn't do it for me - there's a lot of similar themed movies out there mining the same vein and it just didn't do anything to set itself apart - not a film I would revisit. Not awful, just middle-of-the-road. The disc comes out in the UK on May 12th and is currently available in the US also from Image Entertainment. 2 Outta 5 

DVD Review: BLOODY HOMECOMING (2012)

BLOODY HOMECOMING (2012) 

Label: Image Entertainment UK
Release Date: March 4th 2012
Region Code: 2 PAL
Rating: Not Rated
Duration: 85 Minutes
Audio: English Dolby Digital 5.1
Video: Anamorphic Widescreen (1.78:1)
Cast: Jim Tavaré, Rae Latt, Lexi Giovagnoli, Alex Dobrenko, Randi Lamey
Director: Brian C. Weed


It's been three years since Winston High School's star athlete and wanna-be rapist Billy (Jesse Ferraro) was burned alive at the homecoming dance. The group of freshman responsible for his demise are now seniors and as the homecoming festivities get underway the teens receive ominous "Happy Homecoming" notes in their lockers - it seems someone might want them dead - but who? 

Here we have a fun assortment of high school archetypes represented including the straight arrows Steve (Alex Dobrenko) and Laura plus horny burnouts Robbie (Shaleen Cholera) and Nora (Elizabeth Bigger), a trio of vapid cheerleaders Cheryl (Victoria Park), Darcy (Hillary Wagner) and Cassie (Taryn Cervarich) and the class president Wade (Branden Lee Roth). The cast do a decent job with the sometimes adversarial teen friendships which are full of sarcasm and  teen drama as you might expect, the characters are decently fleshed-out and once the body count commences you actually do feel some sense of loss for these folks, a good job on part of the writer and cast creating more than just cookie-cutter stereotypes. Even the homecoming queen Cassie is given more depth than what you might expect from a slasher entry and I appreciated that. The teens felt like teens and the humorous/sarcastic dialogue came across appropriate and was pretty funny, I laughed quite a bit. 

The teaching staff get some decent screen time as well, we have the pervert principal Mr. Patterson (Steve Earnest), a handful of teachers, the lecherous football coach (David Young) and the requisite creepy janitor (Jim Tavare) who seems to be channeling Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes). While the staff are not developed quite as much as the student body we do get some fun exchanges between the staff and student, some more than others.

Our masked-killer wears a fireman turnout coat and helmet face-mask to conceal their identity. The look definitely added a My Bloody Valentine (1981) by way of Prom Night (1980) flavor to the film, the murder weapon of choice is the coveted Winston Wildcats spirit baton that goes missing early on in the film, it's  fine choice of weapon and does the deed nicely. Occasionally the killer branches out a bit and at one point suffocated a victim with a burst balloon skin which I give credit for originality if a bit odd. 

As the killings get underway we have a nice assortment of baton-killings, they're not gore-soaked but there's plenty bloody. There's not a lot new under the sun as killings go but they're executed nicely and I don't require a ton of originality to enjoy a retro-slasher and Bloody Homecoming does just fine with an admirable body count and decent kills. 

I didn't guess the identity of the killer but the revelation is decent and we get a fun monologue as the murderer lays out the motivations for the murder-spree, again it's not original by any means but nicely done. The shortest straw of the film would be a few of the performances seem awkward but overall this was just a damn fun watch with steady performances, a decent amount of humor and some decent low-budget deaths. 

The film is low budget but has very nice production value, it doesn't feel cheap. The digitally shot image looks just fine and while I wasn't in love with the slightly desaturated aesthetic it is well shot with some nice camera movement and decent editing. The score definitely has a bit of John Carpenter (Halloween) flavor to it from time to time as well as that particular stressed-strings sound I usually attribute to an influence from Stanley Kubrick's The Shining (1980).

Bloody Homecoming (2012) is a damn decent slasher entry that doesn't stray far from the established formulas and that's just fine by me, I like my slashers straight-up without a lot of irony. What it does it does quite well and the end result is a very enjoyable retro-slasher with a Prom Night (1980) by way of My Bloody Valentine (1981) flavor - what's not to enjoy? The film is available on March 4th in the UK from Image Entertainment and currently available here in the US from image on DVD.  3 Outta 5