METALSTORM: THE DESTRUCTION OF JARED-SYN (1983) (Blu-ray Review)

METALSTORM: THE DESTRUCTION OF JARED-SYN (1983) 

Label: Scream Factory
Region Code: A
Duration: 84 Minutes
Rating: PG
Audio: English DTS-HD MA 2.0, 5.1 with Optional English Subtitles
Video: 1080p HD Widescreen (2.35:1) 
Director: Charles Band
Cast: Mike Preston, Richard Moll, Tim Thomerson, Jeffrey Byron, Kelly Preston

Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn (1983) is a sci-fi action film directed by Empire Pictures founder Charles Band (Puppet Master, Trancers) that owes no small amount of pilfered inspiration from the Mad Max movies. Here we have a wasteland ranger named Dogen (Jeffrey Byron) driving through the wasteland in a futuristic vehiclel - or something about as futuristic as something from Roger Corman produced Deathsport  (1978) or Battletruck (1982). Dogen is being pursued by a "skybike", which is sort of like the SkyCutter the Mutants flew around on in the Thundercats animated series. The skybike is being piloted by a mercenary working for the nefarious Jared-Syn, who is the true baddie in the movie, played by Mad Max 2 alum Mike Preston, who played Pappagallo in The Road Warrior. Not only did Charles Band borrow a lot of inspiration from Mad Max but he also snagged one of it's cast to star in this 3D adventure which sort of feels a bit like Mad Max by way of Flash Gordon, but on a budget that would make the Italian Mad Max rip-off Exterminators in the Year 3000 (1983) seems extravagant by comparison. Dogen shoots down the skybike and recovers a red crystal from the dead mercenary, these crystals figure prominently into the somewhat ambiguous storyline. 

Enter an old prospector and his lovely daughter Dhyana (Kelly Preston) who are mining for rare crystals when the prospector uncovers an abnormally large shard of the gem which should make him wealthy beyond his wildest dreams. As he begins to celebrate the find Jared-Syn's son, the half-cyborg Baal (R. David Smith) arrives on scene, the hydraulic clamp-handed Baal squirts the miner with some green-goo which magically transports the miner to a weird alternate-reality, none of which is explained to any satisfaction, nonetheless he murdered. The daughter survives and forms an alliance with Dogen, and with the help of a shaman they are told the red crystal Dogen recovered is a storage device that can store human life force, which ties into a larger crystal in the possession of Jared-Syn. 

When Dhyana is later kidnapped by Jared-Syn Dogen seeks the help of a former ranger named Rhodes, played by Tim Thomerson of Trancers fame whom reluctantly aligns himself with Dogen. Together they venture into the wasteland to find Syn and rescue Dhyana. However, the journey is fraught with danger and the pair travel through the territory of the Cyclopean people where they must contend with the race of one-eyed warriors lead by Hurok (Richard Moll). The cyclopean are none too pleased that the rangers have trespassed on their sacred land, through hand to hand combat Dogen defeats Hurok and they are freed. 

The movie is a bit long in the tooth for an eighty-four minute movie, peppered with some fun idea and designs, but the damn thing becomes a bit lost inside it's own mythology, there is so much extraneous stuff happening that I found it all a bit hard to follow, the movie is very unfocused, but if you can check your brain at the door and come into this with some lowered expectations there is a some low-rent science fiction fun to be had, provided you can get past the lo-fi approach, which I was able to to do with out much of a problem, if you love b-movies this should not be a deterrent. . 

It is hard not to have fun with the cast of apocalyptic characters crammed into this one. Dogen looks like he walked right off the set off Mad Max with his black leathers and sidearm, but doesn't have a whole lot of presence. All the baddies could be torn from any of the Roger Corman's produced post-apocalyptic movies and the battle vehicles seem to be made from scraps of sheet metal mounted on VW chassis, everything is wonderfully cheap and cheesy, and I expected nothing less from the movie, and walked away a pretty happy camper. 

All characters are one-note cardboard cut-outs, there's no depth to any one of them, and with only an ounce or two of charisma to share amongst them at least they were cool to watch. They do what they can with the material, which is honestly not much, but at the movie only comes off as confusing, never quite boring. The mish mash of science and magic doesn't make a whole lot of sense either, you really have to check your brain at the door and just resign yourself to how dumb the whole thing is, and I enjoyed it on that level but make no mistake, this is a bad movie. 

Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn arrives on Blu-ray from Scream Factory on a two-disc Collector's Edition with a brand new HD transfer of both the 2D and 3D presentation, housed on separate discs. Unfortunately I could not watch the Blu-ray 3D version of the movie which is a modern 3D experience, not the old blue-green glasses sort of 3D, they did a modern Blu-ray 3D conversion for it.I could not watch the 3D version but the 2D experience was very nice, the image was vibrant and crisp with some nice depth and clarity. The movie does have an abundance of cheesily composited special effects shots so the grain structure and contrast did fluctuate a bit but overall this is a very pleasing experience in HD. 

Audio chores are capably handled by DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 and 5.1 mixes, both are clean and crisp, though I give my preferred viewing option to the stereo track, the surround mix suffers from some spacial artificiality in my opinion, not every movie needs and.or deserves a surround mix. Optional English subtitles are provided. 

The main extra on the Blu-ray includes a brand-new making of disc produced by Ballyhoo Motion Pictures with new Interviews With Director/Producer Charles Band, Actors Jeffrey Byron, Richard Moll And Tim Thomerson, Screenwriter/Producer Alan J. Adler, Special Effects Artist Allan Apone, Make-up Artist Kenny Myers And Composer Richard Band. A super in-depth and candid doc that adds some serious value to the disc, even if the movie is only middling b-movie entertainment the interviews make for some great viewing, particularly from Charles Band who lays the production bare, including going into how the movie wound up being distributed by Universal during the post Jaws 3D craze. The piece is peppered with production art, rough sketches, original screenplay notes and other cool goodies. I find it fun one everyone talks about what a showman Band was at the time, dreaming up ideas without a script and selling the idea to distributors based on mock-ups, it certainly was a special time in cinema. Other extras include a radio spot, the original theatrical trailer, and an image gallery. 

Special Features: 
- NEW High Definition Transfer Presented In Both 2-D And 3-D!
- NEW High Noon At The End Of The Universe – Featuring Interviews With Director/Producer Charles Band, Actors Jeffrey Byron, Richard Moll And Tim Thomerson, Screenwriter/Producer Alan J. Adler, Special Effects Artist Allan Apone, Make-up Artist Kenny Myers And Composer Richard Band (42 Mins) HD 
- Promotional And Behind-The-Scenes Still Gallery (10 Mins) HD 
- Radio Spot (30 Second) 
- Original Theatrical Trailer (1 Mins) HD 

Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn (1983) is a fun low-budget wanna-be science fiction epic loaded with 80s cheese and grandiose ideas executed on a shoe-string budget and it gets by on some 80s nostalgia and cheap action. The disc from Scream Factory looks nice and the extras are pretty great, this is wonderful stuff for the right-minded 80s sci-fi action fan, if you love cheap post-apocalyptic movies this needs to be on your wish-list.  

THE DUNGEONMASTER (1985) / ELIMINATORS (1986) DOUBLE FEATURE (Blu-ray Review)

THE DUNGEONMASTER (1985) / ELIMINATORS (1986) 

THE DUNGEONMASTER (aka RAGEWAR) (1985) 
Label: Scream Factory
Region Code: A
Rating: Unrated
Duration: 77 Minutes
Audio: English DTS-HD MA Mono 2.0 with Optional English Subtitles 
Video: 1080p HD Widescreen (1.78:1) 
Director: Rosemarie Turko, Steve Ford, Ted Nicolaou, Charles Band, David Allen, John Carl Buechler, Peter Manoogian
Cast: Jeffrey Byron, Leslie Wing, Richard Moll

Synopsis: Paul, a young computer ace, is forced to pit his physical and mental skills against unimaginable odds when a hulking wizard looking for formidable opponents picks Paul as his next challenger. Paul faces a series of seven spectacular and death-defying challenges and must survive not only to save his life but that of his girlfriend's too! Jeffrey Byron (Metalstorm: The Destruction Of Jared-Syn) and Richard Moll (Night Court) star in this eye-popping thriller featuring an appearance by W.A.S.P.!

This version of The Dungeonmaster is unrated and different from the PG-13 version shown theatrically and released by Scream Factory as part of the All Night Horror Marathon Volume 2 DVD. It includes an additional scene with some nudity, which is always fun for lover's of b-movies, nudity certainly never hurt a movie. I love this slice of '80s b-movie schlock, we have computer whiz Paul Bradford (Jeffrey Byron) who wears the 80's version of Google Glass that links him into his home computer, the X-Cal-BR8, which allows him to do such nifty things as turn traffic lights green when it suits his needs... AWESOME!  At night Paul is plagued by nightmares, one of which comes true when a demonic wizard named Mastema (Richard Moll, Night Train to Terror) whisks Paul and his girlfriend Gwen (Leslie Wing) away to a netherworld, where Paul is forced to complete seven challenges or lose Gwen to the devilish demon. Each of these challenge sequences are directed by a different director working for Empire Pictures at the time, making this a strange anthology of sorts. Directors Rosemarie Turko, Steve Ford, Ted Nicolaou, Charles Band, David Allen, John Carl Buechler and Peter Manoogian do their best to keep this thing afloat on a limited budget and for the most part they succeed, creating an entertaining series of connected vignettes, each with it's own flavor

In "Ice Gallery" from director Rosemarie Turko Gwen and Paul must face off against a rogue's gallery of Mastema's former challengers, ranging from Jack the Ripper to Einstein! Next up is John Carl Buechler "Demons of the Dead" which takes place in a cave where Paul is made to battle the undead and contend with the pint-sized demon Ratspit, looking a bit like a reject from Ghoulies. My favorite of the bunch has to be "Heavy Metal" which is directed by Charles band and pits the couple against the band W.A.S.P. and their maniacal lead singer Blackie Lawless as the band tears through their song "Tormentor", the short is basically the band's stage show with poor Gwen being the centerpiece, it's truly not anything of substance, I just love the vintage W.A.S.P. performance. 

I am a fan of anything David Allen did, he was Empire Pictures king of stop-motion stuff, his entry  "Stone Canyon Giant" pits Paul against a stone giant and is a fun change up, while Steven Ford's "Slasher" has Paul on the run to stop Gwen from becoming a next victim of a serial killer stalking the street of Los Angeles. We're back in a cave for Peter Manoogian's "Cave Beast" and we finish strong with Ted Nicolaou's "Desert Bandit", a cheap Mad Max knock-off with armor-plated golf carts in place of muscle machines, which brought to mind the Roger Corman production Battle Truck, only shorter and therefore less painful. 

The movie has a definitive '80's sheen to it, Paul's short shorts are proof of that, as is his fantasy-based Tron-esque costuming, which also smacks of cheapness. The Dungeonmaster (aka Ragewar) may not be a great movie but it is certainly entertaining in a bad '80s sort of way. I cannot imagine my kids watching this and enjoying it, I think you need to have a certain amount of '80s nostalgia and reverence for the era to fully appreciate it, which I have plenty of, so this went down quite smoothly with a few brews and a head full of youthful nostalgia. 

ELIMINATORS (1986) 
Region Code: A
Duration: 99 Minutes 
Rating: PG-13
Audio: English DTS-HD MA Mono 2.0 with Optional English Subtitles 
Video: 1080p HD Widescreen (1.78:1) 
Director: Peter Manoogian
Cast: Andrew Prine, Conan Lee, Denise Crosby, Patrick Reynolds, Roy Dotrice

Synopsis: A mandroid – part man and part machine – seeks revenge on the evil scientist who created him. Enlisting the help of a beautiful woman and a mysterious ninja, he pursues the scientist in hopes of stopping him before he can further harm humanity. Andrew Prine (The Town That Dreaded Sundown) and Denise Crosby (Star Trek: The Next Generation) star.

Up next on this double feature is the Eliminators, which Scream Factory have previously issued on DVD as part of the SciFi Movie Marathon collection, and to my knowledge this is the exact same version only with a new HD transfer. The movie starts with reclusive inventor Abbott Reeves (Roy Dotrice, Amadeus) hard at work on perfecting time-travel for nefarious reasons, sending his half-human, half-robot "mandroid" (Patrick Reynolds) back to Ancient Rome, which is successful. No longer requiring the "mandroid" he orders his assistant Dr. Takada (Tad Horino) to destroy his creation, however, Takada has compassion for the "mandroid" and helps him escape from the compound, with Takada dying in the ensuing fire-fight with Reeve's henchmen. 

In the aftermath the Mandroid is damaged and he seeks the aid of Colonel Nora Hunter (Denise Crosby) who helped design some of his parts. From here Hunter and Mandroid, dubbed John by Hunter, head back to Mexico to put an end to Reeve's diabolical time-travelling plans. The duo enlist the help of a river guide named Harry Fontana (Andrew Prine, The Town That Dreaded Sundown) who guides them down the river to the mad scientists laboratory, along the way they must fend off Fontana's own personal rogues gallery, including a butch rival river guide named Bayou Betty (Peggy Mannix)

I found it hard to watch this and not think of the Astron-6 movie Manborg, obviously the guys drew a lot of influence from this one, just look at the design similarities, I found this a ton of fun, again I don't think this is good cinema, but its fun and entertaining, and further proof that Empire Pictures knew how to stretch a dollar bill to the breaking point. Bringing Andrew Prine into the cast was an inspired idea, the guy is a blast and by far my favorite part of the movie, as is the tiny scout bot named SPOT. The special effects are done by John Carl Buchler and David Allen, a team that deserves a lot of credit for what they were able to achieve on what was likely a small budget, loves the Madroid's mobile unit and overall design, somewhat cheeseball but '80s awesome at the same time. 

Both films arrive on Blu-ray from Scream Factory on a single disc. the 1080p HD framed in 1.78 widescreen, and looking good for the most part. The image can be a bit soft and some of the optical special effects show some grit, but not bad at all.  The English DTS-HD Master Audio Stereo 2.0 does the job, not the most dynamic but a solid stereo track with optional English subtitles. 

Extras on the disc include a brand new interview with director Peter Manoogian who recalls is early years at New World Pictures and working for Charles Band at Empire Pictures, going into the production of Eliminators. There's also a trailer for The Dungeonmaster.

Scream Factory have done a fine job bringing these two junk-food slices of '80s cheese to Blu-ray for the first time, I give them a proper tip of the hat for making the longer and more explicit version of The Dungeonmaster to fans, and while I would have loved new interviews from Richard Moll or Denise Crosby or a director commentary from John Carl Buechler or Ted Nicolau, there are only so many resources you can throw at these movies, they're not even cult-classic, they're video obscurities and just having them on Blu-ray might seem like overkill to some. 2.5/5

 

Blu-ray Review: NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR (1985)

NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR (1985) 

Label: Vinegar Syndrome

Region Code: Region Free 

Duration: 93 Minutes 

MPAA Rating: Unrated 

Audio: DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 

Video: 1080p Widescreen (1.85:1) 

Director: Jay Schlossberg-Cohen

Cast: John Phillip Law, Cameron Mitchell, Richard Moll, Marc Lawrence, Tony Giorgio, Ferdy Mane

What the fuck did I just watch? Oh sure you laugh now but when you watch you will ponder that very same question. Night Train to Terror (1985) is a horror anthology stitched together from the three separate unfinished films with a wrap-a-round framing device featuring God (Ferdy Mane) and Satan (Tony Giorgio) on a doomed train headed towards Las Vegas. En route to their final destination the two exchange stories of spiritual corruption and redemption, the fate of three people hang in the balance... and the most 80's new wave sounding band play the same song again and again, that song is a diabolically catchy tune. 

The strange vignettes begin with "The Case of Harry Billings" a man named Harry (John Phillip Law) causes an accident which kills his new wife, in the aftermath he ends up at an asylum where undergoes electro-shock therapy and is brainwashed by an evil doctor to go out into the world and seduce women, bringing them back to the asylum where they are raped and butchered by wierdo orderly (Richard Moll, Night Court) and sold to medical school as body parts. 

Next up is "The Case of Gretta Connors," wherein a young medical student Glenn (Rick Barnes)

watches a porno and falls in love with porn star Gretta (Meredith Haze), but her jealous ex-lover initiates them into a "death club" and are subjected to different near-death experiences including electrocution, deadly insects and an 2 ton swinging ball of death.

The third and final vignette is "The Case of Claire Hansen" featuring Holocaust survivor Olivier (Robert Bristol) whom tries desperately to convince a tough-nosed cop (Cameron Mitchell) that an ageless WWII Nazi ghoul is menacing the city, meanwhile a surgeon named Claire and her atheist husband James (Richard Moll again) are pulled into the shenanigans and gruesome hilarity ensues.

Watching Night Train to Terror unfold is like trying to remember a half forgotten nightmare or viewing of a poorly edited and dubbed Italian horror movie, it just doesn't make a lick of sense, you have a vague idea of what happened but you just cannot put the pieces together in a way that is coherent, and there's a good reason for that. Night Train To Terror (1985) was assembled from three separate movies and edited town to anthology length and stitched together with the God vs. the Devil wrap-around framing device with the new-wave performance thrown in.

The acting for the most part is utter shit, particularly Meredith Haze in the "Gretta' segment. Richard Moll who portrayed "Bull" in TV's 'Night Court in two of the tales, that was fun. His weirdo orderly in the first segment was super-sleazy, most of these tales have a some sweet sleazy moment, while the producers may have not crafted a decent film they new enough to throw in a lot of boobies and and some fun special effects. We get a fun array of cheapo gore, dismemberment and some awesome claymation stop-motion effects from the same guy who created the beast in Crater Lake Monster (1977) - the stop-motion wasp and gruesome meltdown are fantastic in 'Gretta' - a definite highlight if the movie. 

be prepared for some cheese and poor editing - the three films were hacked to pieces and from scene to scene do not expect continuity or logic to be part of the experience. 
Blu-ray: Night Train to Terror (1985) arrives on a dual format release from Vinegar Syndrome

with a brand new hi-definition transfer restored in 2K from 35mm element. Presented in anamorphic widescreen (1.85:1) for the first time on home video, the new transfer is quite an improvement over previous budget collection versions. There's some print damage and softness from time to time but this is a pretty solid presentation, colors are solid and the black levels are decent, not great. Vinegar Syndrome keep things pure with an image that doesn't suffer from grain scrubbing, there's plenty of film grain with some decent fine detail and the skin tones look natural. While there's some minor print damage throughout when you consider how previous versions  appeared this is pretty solid image from Vinegar Syndrome. 

The only audio options is an adequate English Language DTS-HD Master Audio Mono with no subtitle options. It's a pretty cheap film and the dubbed audio and canned effects will only ever sound decent at best, it sounds like the cheap production that it is. The bizarrely infectious new-wave tune "Dance with Me" sis damn hard to shake it once you've had a taste, you'll be singing it for days. 

The Blu-ray disc special features begin with an audio commentary track from The Hysteria Continues podcast crew and it's a fun one, they have a true appreciation of just how awful and awesome this movie can be and they drop a lot of trivia and production notes about the film and nuggets about the three films cut-up to make it. 

Another audio option is an interview with with Producer/Director Jay Schlossberg-Cohen moderated by Joe Rubin which runs for the duration of the film, it's pretty much a second commentary option without being scene specific - in fact it doesn't even get to Night Train to Terror until after the hour mark but Schlossberg-Cohen is character and quite a storyteller - it's all over the map but it makes for an interesting listen. 

The Blu-ray extras are finished-up with a theatrical trailer and for some less intrepid viewers this might be all they need ever see of this awful film, ha ha. The second disc is a DVD mirroring the exact same extras as the Blu-ray plus a few more.  Another neat bonus is the inclusion of the uncut version of the second entry "Gretta' sourced from a 1" master and it looks pretty good. Its an interesting watch to see the extended story play out, noticeably many of the effects shots and deaths are different and the insert claymation shots added to Night Train to Terror are missing. 

In addition to the inclusion of the film 'Gretta' there's a 30 minute audio interview with Assistant Editor Wayne Schmidt also moderated by Joe Rubin. Schmidt speaks in depth about his involvement on this film plus the movie 'Harry' which later became 'Scream Your Head Off' and eventually cut into one of the vignettes on this nutty anthology, it's a solid interview by Rubin who brings up a fabled black and white segment missing from the film. 

Special Features:
- Restored in 2K from 35mm elements
- Bonus feature film 'Gretta' (91 Minutes)
- Interview with Producer/Director Jay Schlossberg-Cohen
- Interview with Assistant Editor Wayne Schmidt (30 Minutes)
- Commentary track by The Hysteria Continues
- Theatrical trailer (2:40) 

Verdict: I love these obscure and often times junky movies that Vinegar Syndrome have been putting out on Blu-ray. Night Train to Terror (1985) is quite a nutter, a schlocky anthology crammed together from the corpses of three separate movies with a goofy wrap-around story. it's awful but it is certainly entertaining with a bizarre mix of nudity, claymation, awful acting, death clubs, Nazi vampires and God vs. the Devil on a train ride to oblivion, plus Vinegar Syndrome give this one some quality extras that help explain what lead to this disaster of a film. 2 Outta 5