KILLER WORKOUT (1986) (Blu-ray Review)

KILLER WORKOUT (1986) 
(AKA AEROBI-CIDE)

Label: Olive Films I Slasher // Video
Release Date: November 17, 2015
Rated: R
Duration: 85 Minutes
Audio: English DTS-HD MA 2.0 
Video: Full Frame (1.33:1) 
Cast: Ted Prior, Marcia Karr, David James Campbell, Fritz Matthews
Director: David A. Prior
Tagline: Going to the gym may be hazardous to your health. In fact, it could kill you.

Synopsis: Valerie, a model with a promising career, Valerie heads out to the local fitness club to use their sun-tanning bed. She needs to look her best for her Cosmopolitan magazine cover shoot. Alas, Valerie’s visit will end in tragedy when the machine malfunctions, burning her to death. Despite Valerie’s death being a public relations nightmare, things are back up and running at the club with the iron-fisted Rhonda (Marci Karr, Maniac Cop) in charge. But tragedy is lurking just around the corner when another club member is soon found stabbed to death. Enter Lieutenant Morgan (David James Campbell, Scarecrows), the cop on the case. Tasked with solving the crimes, he’s in for more than he expected as the body count rises. Who’s behind the grizzly slayings? What’s their motive? And, who will be the next victim?

Killer Workout is one of my favorite '80s horror entries and for all the wrong reasons, it's a corny slasher from the '80s that is centered around a local fitness club where the aerobic-toned bodies just keep piling up. The killer's weapon of choice is one of the strangest oddities of the movie, a ridiculously over-sized safety, yet it is played straight without any humor intended. However, when you first see that safety pin raised high into the air as the killer prepares to plunge it into the first victim's neck in the shower I dare you not to laugh, this is very silly stuff, but that's why I enjoy it, for the camp and kitsch of this high energy cash-strapped slasher production, not as cash-strapped as maybe the Satan's Blade (1983), also released on Blu-ray from Slasher // Video and Olive Films, but pretty cheap just the same. 

Most '80s slashers are a a bit on the goofy side when it comes down to it, even a solid slasher is just a hair away from falling into camp, and this is one of the goofiest slashers of all, complete with variety of weird characters. We have Rhonda (Marcia Karr) who runs the fitness center with an iron-fist. Then her second in command, the blond tramp Jaimy (Teresa Van Der Woude) with her purse overflowing with rubbers, and there's the muscle headed Jimmy (Fritz Matthews), a regular at the gym who according to Jaimy loves to tie women up and get a little rough, the guy's a creep and one of the most obvious red-herrings.. 

After the first murder Detective Lieutenant Morgan (David James Campbell) arrives at the gym to investigate, meanwhile aerobic classes are still being held in the room next door, they don't even bother to shut down the gym. This guy cracked me up, acting as if he thought this was a hard boiled noir whodunit instead of a cheesy '80s slasher. The next new face on the scene is a handsome, sculpted blond named Chuck (Ted Prior, Deadly Prey), who Rhonda catches snooping through her office, revealing himself to be an investigator of sorts, hired by the mysterious senior partner of the gym. a thread that never comes to anything. Chuck's good looks threaten Jimmy and the two come to fisticuffs in the parking, to the delight of Jaimy who is all too turned-on by Chuck's display of masculine power, cue the hi-energy aerobic music and these two are back at her place and in the sack in record time, this guy could teach Dr. Challis from Halloween III: Season of the Witch a thing or two about bedding women in record time!

Of course more safety-pin murders occur at the gym and in between we're treated to numerous scenes of attractive ladies wrapped in skin-tight spandex, headbands and legwarmers. This is the sort of aerobic-stretching that really tightened my pants as a youth, in the early '80s when I would watch those 20-Minute Workouts on TV before school. Not so much contributing to my love of aerobic exercise but to the massive development of my right-arm, haha. 

I won't spoil the identity of who's murdering these hard bodies in Killer Workout other than to say it was fun and there are a few somewhat shocking moments, including the scarred body of the killer. It's a little on the strange side, maybe not well done, but still a fun slice of '80s slasher cheese with some corny twist and turns that make this a blast to sit through and pick apart for just how silly it is, definitely a relic of the '80s. So throw it on and enjoy the eighties aerobics, the silly songs ('She's a knockout, better look out, she'll take you out !'), the ample nudity and the ridiculousness of the safety pin murders. Only the eighties offered cheese this vintage, many modern indie slasher movie try to capture the aesthetic and unintentional camp witnesses here, but very few can even come close to the authentic stuff.
Audio/Video: Disclaimer: Killer Workout is presented using the best available elements provided by Slasher // Video. Not sourced from an HD Master; remastered from from PAL Beta SP and upconverted to Blu-ray and DVD specifications.  (from the DVD)

Killer Workout is a movie I first acquired through iOffer, a burned copy of poor quality, I had always assumed it was a Shot-On-Video (SOV) movie like Boardinghouse or Blood Cult for the longest time, but it turns out that this is not the case after all. This was shot on film but apparently the only surviving elements was a PAL Beta SP, so what you're watching is pretty much an upconverted version from a PAL formatted tape source with some flaws you're not use to seeing in 1080p HD, such as VHS tracking lines. I think fans of the movie will be quite pleased with what we have here, despite the inherent flaws of the non-HD source material I found this to be a significant upgrade over my burned disc from iOffer. The English DTS-HD MA 2.0 audio is also sourced from a PAL Beta SP and is not crisp by any standard but is not bad, it can be muffled and the dialogue still drops to a very low level during the final moments of the movie, but compared to what we have had available to us before this is an upgrade. This print bares the alternate title card of 'Aerobicide', the original 'Killer Workout' title sequence is available in the extras. 

Onto the extras we have an image gallery of poster art, promotional stuff and VHS box art, the original Killer workout title sequence, and a Slasher // Video re-release trailer for the movie. Unfortunately we do not have any interviews with the late Director David A. Prior, who dies earlier this year, or his brother, actor Ted Prior. I  would have settled for an interview with Marcia Karr but we don't get anything, not even a fan commentary. These are all just nitpicks though, I am pleased as punch that we have this on Blu-ray, this is a movie that in the back of my mind was on an unwritten list of movies that would never see the light of day on an HD format, thanks to the efforts of Jesus Teran and Slasher // Video here it is, not perfect, not widescreen, but as perfect as we are likely to ever have, so dig in. 

Special Features: 
- Photo Gallery (8 Mins) 
- Original Killer Workout Title Sequence (1 Mins) 
- Killer workout Trailer (2 Mins) 


The joy of Killer Workout (AKA Aerobi-cide) is that it's straight-up eighties slasher cheese wrapped-up in neon-colored spandex with some nudity and goofy kills. They can't all be My Bloody Valentine (1981), but they aren't all this enjoyably bad either, you lovers of eighties slasher cheese out there need this in your life, you need it now, so have at it. 3/5

SATAN'S BLADE (1984)

SATAN'S BLADE (1984) 

Label: Olive Films/Slasher//Video
Rating: R
Duration: 82 Minutes
Video: HD 1.33:1 Full Frame 
Audio: English DTS-HD MA 2.0
Director: L. Scott Castillo Jr
Cast: Tom Bongiorno, Stephanie Leigh Steel, Thomas Cue, Romona Andrada, Diane Taylor, Ski Mark Ford

Satan's Blade (1984) is a movie I have long wanted to see but never could find, the title has been written on a scrap of paper I carry in my wallet alongside about a dozen other obscure movies I am looking for, now it is making it's DVD/BD debut courtesy of team-up between Slasher//Video and Olive Films. Watching it now I can say that fans of trashy cult cinema are in for quite a '80s treat, a somewhat corny supernatural slasher hybrid dripping with blood, boobs and all the standard tropes you would expect from an early slasher cycle entry. 

We begin with a bank robbery, two gunmen enter a bank and force the bank tellers to hand over the cash, but not before forcing one to partially undress at knife point. It appears were heading into a rapey direction until the robbers shoot the tellers dead, their death scenes are deliciously over-acted, which totally sets the pace for this cheesy stab-a-thon. The robbers make off with the loot to a rental cabin in the mountains and we discover the thieving murderers are a pair or young ladies, which I thought was a nice touch. At the cabin we get plenty of awful acting and an eyeful of titty before the maybe-lesbians turn on each other with one shooting the other. While removing the body the back-stabber is stabbed in the back by an unseen assailant, which seems appropriate. 

The local cops arrive on the scene and we get some back story about a similar crime occurring in the area some fourteen years earlier. Now arriving at the cabins are two groups of twenty-somethings looking for a holiday weekend of fun, now that we have our victims we need the harbinger of doom, enter the mother of the property manager who goes on about the local legend of a cursed mountain man who lives in the mountains and kills trespassers, which sort of puts the group on edge, but not enough to deter them from staying at the very same cabin where the girls were murdered just the night before!

From here we get some very minimal character development establishing the two of the couples who are staying in one of the cabins. We definitely know that one of theme are always hungry and the other one is way beyond faithful to his slightly annoying wife, despite a very strong and persuasive come-on from one women staying in the cabin next door. Other than that we don't get much more fleshing-out of the characters, but in a corny slasher film none is needed. I thought the overly faithful husband was a nice touch, in fact most of the group are decent people, no one is so vile you just cannot wait for them to die, maybe because they're such awful actors no one could muster up enough character to come off as a horrible person. 

Pretty soon the groups find themselves being stalked by a knife-wielding madman who takes them out one by one, a pretty typical slasher formula. Unfortunately the deaths are uninspired with no gore but at least we get a decent amount of bloodshed. The murders are disappointing but there are a few nice touches to the story, the aforementioned tale of the cursed mountain man inspires a nightmare, in an evil looking mountain man murders the girls in the cabin, it's a fun stuff, and probably the most suspenseful and best shot sequence in the film. 

Technically this is a mess of poor editing, poor pacing and even poorer acting, you sort of have to be a bad film buff to enjoy it, heck out that sweet cameo from boom mic, but somehow it limps along just barely getting by on a heady concoction of blood, titties and a trashy synthesizer score, the usual low-budget 80's slasher aesthetic. I also loved that is was somewhat set in the snow-covered mountains, the snow coverage seems patchy at times but I do love snowbound horror and I will take it where I can find it. Unfortunately the slasher elements while there are sub-par and that combined with the low-rent production will turn many of the less adventurous viewers away. However, if you're an intrepid movie fan and crave obscure eighties slashers this might be a fun watch, one best viewed with friends and large quantities of alcohol.

Audio/Video: Satan's Blade arrives on Blu-ray and DVD for the first time ever courtesy of a Slasher//Video and Olive Films team-up, a brand new transfer minted from a 2K scan of a 35mm print. Presented in the original 1.33:1 framing the film is surprisingly good looking, way better that what  had expected. There's some print damage and deterioration by way of speckling and scratches but overall the restoration looks great. While not on par with a modern film I think fans will be quite surprised by the quality of the HD image, just keep in mind that 1080p cannot makeup for the low-budget limitations of the source material. The same can be said for the DTS-HD MA 2.0, source material imperfections like poorly recorded sound and distorted screams are evident throughout and are the product of the source material and original audio mix, with the synth score drowning the dialogue and effects. 

Onto the extras on the disc we have quite an assortment, way more than one has come to expect from Olive Films, pretty sure we can thank Jesus Terden and the Slasher//Video crew for this. There are two on-camera interviews with director L. Scott Castillo Jr. totalling about 50 minutes in length. The director provides some history about the creation, making and distribution of the film, including some shady distribution practices. He seems like quite a character is enthused to be talking about the movie some thirty years after the fact, showing off a 35mm film can and reels of the film, two incarnations of the film on VHS and assorted artwork and ephemera. He speaks about the original VHS artwork also being used for the film Satan's Blood, which he was not happy about, and  then shows off a Dutch poster for Satan's Blade that seems to use cropped artwork from William Lustig's Maniac (1980), there seems to have been a lot of strange and shady distribution practices back in the day, and I am sure there still are.   

Additionally there scenes from the both the Dutch and Japanese VHS releases, which appeared identical to me but do serve to point out what a nice restoration Slasher//Video and Olive Films have afforded it. There are also two selection of music from the film, a scrapbook of behind-the-scene pics and a gallery of images, including various VHS artwork and the original reversible artwork planned for this 30th Anniversary release, which unfortunately didn't happen. 

Special Features:
- Director's Narrative with L. Scott Castillo Jr. and Jesus Terden (16 Mins) 
- Remembering Satan's Blade (33 Mins) 
- Photo Gallery (11 Mins) 
- Satan's Blade Scrapbook (3 Mins) 
- Dutch Home Video Scene (2 Mins) 
- Japanese Home Video Scene (14 Mins) 
- Instrumental I(1 Min) 
- Instrumental II (1 Min) 
- Satan's Blade Trailer (1 Min) 

Slasher//Video and Olive Films have afforded this z-grade slasher a very fine restoration that is honestly far beyond what it may deserve, which is not to say that Satan's Blade is without a certain low-budget charm, to a certain sub sect of trash cinema fans this is guaranteed to be a ton of slashery goodness. There's no doubt the die-hard slasher fans will want this one on their movie shelf and I congratulate both Slasher//Video and Olive Films for bringing this obscure slasher to Blu-ray for the first time. I am eagerly looking forward to what this team-up brings forth next. 3/5