DVD Review: BIO SLIME (2010)

 

BIO SLIME (2010)

Production Company: Forward Motion Entertainment
Rating: Unrated
Duration: 87 mins
Video: 16:9 Widescreen
Director: John Lechago
Cast: Victoria DeMare, Vincent Bilancio, Ronnie Lewis, Micl Bartluci, Gia Paloma, Magic J. Ellingson

BIO SLIME comes from the mind of KILLJOY 3 director John Lechago who also directed BLOOD GNOME and MAGUS. His latest entry is a sci-fi horror b-movie that begins with a drug deal gone bad on the seedy streets of LA when a double-crossing drug dealer ends up a stiff and his girlfriend Donna flees the scene with a mysterious briefcase. Running scared she ends up at her friend Jack's (Magic J. Ellinson, RED SANDS) meth-lab located in a converted apartment building that now houses a low-rent porn operation as well as the paint studio of Troy (Vincent Bilancio, RAT SCRATCH FEVER), a once rising star in the LA art scene who's now just a sad drunk with waning options. Also in the building are porn director Chuck, porn actresses Mary (Victoria DeMare, KILLJOY 3), Annie, Troy's abused niece Shannon, art dealer Hal, the landlord Jimmy (Al Burke, KILLJOY 3) and his young mail-order bride Costanza.

While certain drama's unfold within the building, including Jimmy evicting Troy, Donna's curiosity about the contents of the briefcase results in her accidentally releasing what's inside and what's inside is a slimy, flesh-eating blob which make her it's first victim. The creature takes up residence in the building's plumbing and crawlspaces and the next to fall prey to the blob is a porn actress showering away the day's slimy activities. At first it's victims disappear unnoticed but when Shannon's abusive boyfriend Brandon (Mark Stefanovski) is driven outta the complex by force he returns with vengeance on his mind trapping everyone inside with not just him but the tentacled alien blob as well. With no way out and no cellphone reception (of course) it's an all out siege as they try to avoid being absorbed in the alien slime.

The acting pretty typical of a low-budget b-movie, there's some decent performers and some not so decent and in the former category we get a strong performance from Vincent Bilancio as the likable alcoholic painter Troy who just so happens to go cold turkey this particular day, as you can imagine it's difficult to fight of an alien infestation with the DT's which leads to some desperate measures on his part. Also turning in a solid performance is Victoria DeMare as porn-actress Maria whom Troy totally has the hots for. You may recall DeMare from her memorable performance as Batty Boop in Lechago's KILLJOY 3 and this is a fun part, particularly after she is absorbed into the creature and interacts with Troy playing on his desires for her. There's a fun group dynamic throughout the film, and while at times there are perhaps too many characters onscreen for my tastes Lechago does his best to make it work despite some awkward dialogue and stilted acting.

Tom Devlin's (SOMEONE'S KNOCKING AT THE DOOR) special effects make-up on the film are of the 80's old school horror variety with some cheap CGI thrown in which tends not to be the greatest but overall the practical effects are top-notch for what surely must have been a limited budget. The creature effects are slimy, gloopy and really call back to Chuck Russells's THE BLOB and with a bit of SPIDER-MAN 3's Venom thrown in. The way that it absorbs it's prey and incorporates them into  itself is pretty creepy stuff.

A few of the action set pieces felt a bit awkwardly staged but Lechago makes up for it with some very effective creature effects and some sleazy nudity courtesy of the porn operation. BIO SLIME is a flesh-eating blob flick that's not too original and not nearly a stunner but its definitely a fun b-movie with some elements of THE BLOB, THE THING, SPECIES and SPLINTER. The film as of yet has no distribution but hopefully will see a DVD release sometime in the near future, this would be a great rental. 3/5

http://www.bioslimethemovie.com/

DVD Review: THE GINGERDEAD MAN 3 - SATURDAY NIGHT CLEAVER (2011)

THE GINGERDEAD MAN 3 - SATURDAY NIGHT CLEAVER (2011)

LABEL: Full Moon Entertainment

REGION CODE: 1  NTSC

RATING: Unrated

DURATION: 78mins

AUDIO: Dolby Digital

VIDEO: 16:9 Widescreen

DIRECTOR:William Butler
CAST: Jackie Beat, Paris Wagner, Steven-Michael McLure, Kimberly Pfeffer, Justin Schwan
TAGLINE: The Ultimate Roller Boogieman

The foul-mouthed, fun-sized confectionery killer Millard Findelmeyer aka the Gingerdead Man (William Butler, GHOULIES II) returns in this retro-70's slasher sequel. The film opens with a sweet send-up of Jonathan Demme's thriller THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS as FBI Agent Clarissa Darling (Laura Kachergus, KING OF CALIFORNIA) pays visit to the ugly cookie killer who's imprisoned at the Research Institute of Homicidal Baked Goods alongside other deadly pastry terrors, Hannibal Lecter style. During the interview he escapes when a group of PETA-esque pastry sympathizers raid the facility and the mini-murderer escapes after stumbling upon a time machine set for the year 1976. Not sure why there's a group of scientist working on a time machine in a high security prison but back in the 70's the Gingerdead Man finds himself at that most 70's of places, a roller rink, smack dab in the middle of a roller-boogie contest. Unable to escape the 70's he lays into the roller disco kings and queens as only the Gingerdead Man can.

The film has a fun cast of characters that include the introverted Cherry (Paris Wagner) the niece of the roller rink owner, Trixie (Kent Fuher, GRIEF) and the two have a total Stephen King's CARRIE mother-daughter style relationship complete with latent telekinetic powers and her aunt's over-protective instincts. It really boils down to the film being a roller-disco retelling of CARRIE with the Gingerbread Man thrown into the mix. Also rounding out the cast are roller rink employee Randy (Steven-Michael-McLure) who has the hots for Cherry, the bitchy roller queen Tammy (Kimberly Pfeffer, SUPER SHARK) and a nutty, drug addled DJ. On top of the SILENCE OF THE LAMBS and CARRIE homages there's a fun PORKY'S through line courtesy of the roly-poly Ingrid (Muffy Bolding, MADHOUSE) which is a riff on Beulah Balbricker with the iconic white shorts, sweatshirt and sweater tied around the neck which leads to a disturbing homage of the bathroom shower scene from PORKY's complete with the Gingerdead's Man's pretzel stick making an appearance.

It was beyond my expectations that this film would prove to be so damned entertaining, the entire concept just seems so stupid, right? Well, it definitely is stupid but it won me over with the fun retro-70's vibe, it was a masterstroke confining it to the roller rink which is a both fun and cost effective, a totally groovy set with garish 70's colors, flamboyant bell bottom styles, strobing disco balls, rampant drug use, disco tunes and a ton of great roller skating, the extras in the film are memorable and pretty awesome skaters, a skill I myself have never mastered.

The comedy is a constant element with the Gingerdead Man offering non-stop comic musings, awful puns and schlocky one-liners, a few were major duds but overall they were pretty lame in the best possible way, know what I mean? Not having seen either of the previous  GINGERDEAD MAN entries I can't say that effects were better or worse but most are of the CGI variety and pretty terrible but I think they actually work in the context of this silly, low-budget slasher film. Gingerdead Man doe snot have the most articulated creature effect I've ever seen but again within the context of a Full Moon feature it's not too shabby either.

The film has a nice variety of kills, too and while I'm not really a fan of CGI I did find myself enjoying 'em. We've got three voluptuous ladies in bikinis at a car wash who unwittingly spray themselves with hydrochloric acid, a tripped out threesome interrupted by a nail gun massacre, the DJ snorting a line of Drano, the brutal severing of one unluckly fuck's Achilles heel and cleavers through the head. It bloody stuff with some practical effects work thrown in but mostly it's low-rent CGI which takes a few points off for sure but is enjoyable nonetheless.

The film culminates in a fun series of events that include lots of death, poorly animated electrocution, a fizzle of telekinesis, way too many bad puns and the assistance of two time-travelling pre-teens, plus Jeffery Dahmer, Lizzy Borden, Charles Manson and Adolf Hitler whom help cram the Gingerdead Man back in his cookie jar, it feels straight outta BILL AND TED, yet another fun parody.

VERDICT: You kinda know what you're in for with a film called THE GINGERDEAD MAN 3 - SATURDAY NIGHT CLEAVER especially coming from Full Moon Entertainment, and that's not a bad thing. It's schlocky b-movie fun, and this one mostly struck all the right chords with me. Fun stuff that goes perfect with a few cold beers, nachos and a couch full of friends. I'm definitely tempted to go back and watch the first two entries in the series. The film is available from Full Moon Entertainment and Echo Bridge Entertainment as a stand alone disc or as part of a boxset collecting all three films. 3/5

DVD Review: THE DEAD AND THE DAMNED (2010)

THE DEAD AND THE DAMNED (2010)

LABEL: Inception Media Group
REGION CODE: Region 1 NTSC
RATING: R
DURATION: 85 mins
AUDIO: Dolby Digital 5.1
VIDEO: Anamorphic Widescreen (1.78:1)
DIRECTOR: Rene Perez
CAST: David A. Lockhart, Camille Montgomery, Rick Mora, Robert Amstler
TAGLINE: It's Clint Eastwood meets George Romero as undead, flesh-eating gun-slingers roam the Wild West.

Mortimer (David A. Lockhart, MINTY THE ASSASSIN) is a bounty hunter in the old west on the trail of a Native American named Brother Wolf (Rick Mora, TWILIGHT) who stands accused of raping a white virgin, as opposed to a virgin of non-Caucasian persuasion. Morty buys himself a would-be blonde bride by the name of Rhiannon (Camille Montgomery) from a shady entrepreneur selling "hostesses, not whores". He has no intention of marrying her but instead takes her to the highlands and stakes her to the ground in an effort to draw Wolf down from the hills, you know, by the allure of a white woman to rape, how could he possibly resist, natch. The portrayal of Brother Wolf is your stereotypically stoic, white woman raping native American, the only thing missing was perhaps for him to shed a lone tear at the site of someone littering in the town square. This is a lame plan of capture but of course it works and Morty escorts the white virgin-raper back to town.

At about the same time two local yokels mining for gold discover a meteorite embedded in the earth. The meteor emits an unearthly green glow, the two suppose there must be wealth of emeralds inside and schlep the hefty space rock back to town where a crowd of curious onlookers gather around for a look-see.  When one of the miners takes a sledgehammer to the rock  it ruptures and spews forth a cloud of green spores which infect everyone, turning them into ravenous, fast-moving zombies. The creatures head for the hills where they prove to be quite a nuisance to Morty, Brother Wolf and Rhiannon.

The zombie-western is not too shabby a premise for an indie horror film, it's an appealing genre mash-up, but the execution  lacks passion. Not helping the production is that the sets look super-flimsy, and it lacked that dusty, rustic aesthetic that sells westerns, there's just no atmosphere. It's also hamstrung by some pretty amateur acting. Star Lockhart begins strong as the silent but deadly gunslinger but as soon as the dialogue spills forth from his lips it's game over. There's a lot of CGI blood in this film, nothing takes the piss outta a zombie flick like a shitty digital headshot. Note to the effects team, bullets don't spark when they strike a tree, they splinter, just saying. The film wants to be an action-packed zombie genre mash-up but the action sequences are poorly executed with no kineticism, it's very flat, case in point a protracted shootout at the top of the film. The nail in the coffin is a very flaccid final 3rd that gets bogged down in needless back story and exposition, it was too little too late by this point and I was zoning out.

On the plus side the film has some decent cinematography, plus a few bits gratuitous nudity, the ace up the sleeve of indie horror, it didn't save the film bit it didn't hurt either. The natural setting is also attractive. Not sure where this was shot but the rolling hills, open plains and lush forests provided some gorgeous scenery. The non-period rock soundtrack features tunes ranging from Southwestern tinged rock to eerie mood pieces, great stuff but the film doesn't live up to either the score or the cinematography.

DVD: The film is presented in anamorphic widescreen (1.78:1) with Dolby Digital 5.1 surround sound, no subtitles are offered. The image looks decent, it's a bit soft and lack fine detail, but well lit with some good lensing. No noticeable compression artifacts but some edge enhancement is visible throughout. The score and effects fare well in the mix but the dialogue is uneven and suffers a bit. The lone special feature is an extended theatrical trailer.

SPECIAL FEATURES:
- Original Extended Trailer (2:07)

VERDICT: THE DEAD AND THE DAMNED promises a zombie-western mash-up where Eastwood meets Romero but it does not deliver. Don't be fooled by the admittedly great boxart, there are no zombie gunslingers, no red-eyed zombie horses nor outlaw zombie lynchings anywhere in this film. Skip it or wait for it to air on Syfy. 1.5 outta 5    

SCREEN CAPS

DVD Review: THE SWEET LIFE (2003)

THE SWEET LIFE (2003)

LABEL: Synapse Films 
REGION CODE: Region 0 NTSC
RATING: Unrated
DURATION: 86 minutes
VIDEO: Anamorphic Widescreen (1.85:1)
AUDIO: English Dolby Digital Stereo
DIRECTOR: Rocco Simonello
CAST: James Lorinz, Barbara Sicuranza, Joan Jett
TAGLINE: A romantic comedy... for people who hate romantic comedies!

Romantic comedies are easily one of the most eye-rollingly awful genre of films, at least in my experience and per my tastes. The prospects for this quirky indie comedy that had been collecting dust unreleased for the past eight years didn't exactly didn't promise what I would call satisfying entertainment. It had been sitting on my shelf collecting dust for a few weeks and probably would've sat there a while more if not for my wife crankily demanding "I'm not watching any of those hillbilly movies tonight, I want something romantic". "Hillbilly", that's her affectionate term for indie and micro-budget flicks that lack a certain amount of visual polish.

It was with that request that I scoured my stack of DVD screeners for something subversively "romantic" and with that I returned to the living room with CAMILLE 2000 (1969), an erotic love story. After inspecting the boxart she recognized director Radley Metzger's name from a previous viewing of THE IMAGE (1975) and summarily dismissed it with "classy porn is not romantic", sometimes I wonder to myself how I ended up with this woman, it must be love. Back to the stack out jumped THE SWEET LIFE which I knew little about though one name in particular popped out at me, Roy Frumkes, whom produced the 80's splatter classic STREET TRASH (1987) and Greg Lamberson's SLIME CITY MASSACRE (2010). Those aren't the films I remembered his name from though, and after a quick IMDB search I figured it out. Frumke directed the DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978) fan documentary DOCUMENT OF THE DEAD (1985). THE SWEET LIFE director Rocco Simonelli is a writer turned first-time director who co-penned the Tom Berenger vehicle THE SUBSTITUTE (1996) which meant very little to me not having seen it. So, despite the intriguing Frumke association I still had very little interest in this indie rom-com. It came down to two things; first, it has the words romantic comedy on the boxart which fit my wife's demands and secondly, it's a Synapse title, a label who this past year introduced me to Jose Mojica Marin's EMBODIMENT OF EVIL, the 80's slasher THE DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOOD and the surreal Hammer bloodsucker VAMPIRE CIRCUS. In my experience great genre film labels are like directors, once you get a feel for their body of work you just trust their discretion and go with their choices sight unseen for better or worse, it's a devotion.

THE  SWEET LIFE is a romantic comedy about two New York brothers who  couldn't be more different in their approach to women. Michael (James Lorinz, FRANKENHOOKER) is a
bland, sensitive film magazine columnist who lacks self confidence, especially when it comes to the ladies. His shallow, twice divorced brother Frankie (Robert Mobely) is quite the opposite; a self-confident ladies man looking for a good time, not a lifetime. Frankie admonishes his brother for being what he calls a "pussy" and tells him he should treat women shit, cuz that's what they really want, he points out that the women in his office all think he's gay. The problem is that Michael is a true romantic at heart, he sets his sites low and has always had an affinity to Frankie's girlfriends. The film opens with a flashback to once such painful memory in which Michael leaves a heart-shaped box of chocolates for Frankie's girlfriend and then she and Frankie eat them while laughing at Michael. When Michael is introduced to Frankie's current plaything, a sexy tattooed bartender named Lila (Barbara Sicuranza, ANAMORPH), the cycle continues.


 Frankie is a bit of an jerky guy but he means well and just wants to see his brother get laid. He encourages Lily to hook him up with her "pussycat" roommate, a hard-drinkin' biker chic named Sherry played rather one dimensionally by rocker Joan Jett (LIGHT OF DAY). The date is a disaster that begins with a break neck bike ride through the streets of NYC, devolves into Michael being choked out by biker and ends with him handcuffed to a bed with the promise of sex and nearly puked on, sans sex. Sherry passes out leaving Michael handcuffed to the bed until Lily comes home. She and Michael go for a walk and strike up a conversation that lasts well into morning. There's definitely a spark between the two and when she tells him that Frankie dumped her the two pursue a romantic relationship of their own. Things get complicated when the Frankie has second thoughts about dumping Lily and the brothers vie for her affections.

Advertised as the romantic comedy for people who hate romantic comedies the film is somewhat successful. The comedy is guy-centric and irreverent with tons of ball-breaking humor and film references. Simonelli's writing is a occasionally a highlight though his directing not so much. The entire production is pretty rough around the edges. The acting is amateur with the exception of Lorinz who carries the film. Frankie is a one-note joke but I have friends who are equally shallow, so that's not too far fetched. Lorinzo's Michael is given the best lines with well-timed, wise-cracking, self-deprecating humor. Sicuranza as the tough but sensitive Lily was likable but her character just felt exaggerated, then again I've never dated a NYC gal, maybe they are that annoying, whatta I know? Despite these shortcomings the three make for a fun dysfunctional trio and the film's bittersweet romantic triangle was a fun watch, even if a bit formulaic and predictable. Even my wife enjoyed the flick though she was put off by the film's low-budget aesthetic, comparing it to public access programming. It's cheap but it ain't that cheap, just unpolished. The film also features a rockin' soundtrack with a title song performed by JOAN JETT AND THE BLACKHEARTS

DVD: Synapse Films presents the film in anamorphic widescreen (1.85:1) aspect ratio with a Dolby Digital stereo soundtrack with no subtitles. This isn't going to win any awards for cinematography, it's a pretty flat image with no depth but it's watchable. Special features include director and cast commentary, a making of featurette, deleted scenes, outtakes plus a theatrical trailer. Apparently the finished version of the making of doc was lost and what we have here is a rough cut, it's a decent watch with interviews from producer Frumke, director Simonelli, and actor James Lorinz. There's much discussion about an unnamed but well-known rocker/actress and her husband muscling the production for more cash at the zero hour which threatened to nearly derail the project.

Special Features:
- Audio Commentary with Director Rocco Simonelli and Stars James Lorinz and Barbara Sicuranza
- The Making of THE SWEET LIFE (34:54)
- Deleted and Extended Scenes (13:05)
- Outtakes (7:23)
- Theatrical Trailer (2:29)

VERDICT: THE SWEET LIFE is a bittersweet, guy-centic indie anti-rom-com that managed to elicit a few good chuckles with it's New Yorker ball-breaking humor despite some spotty performances and a formulaic story. The winner here is James Lorinz's line deliveries and comedic timing, without him the film would have suffered greatly. It doesn't have a lot of rewatch value in my opinion, it's a one and done, so you may not want to buy this sight unseen but I have no problem recommending this as a passable date night rental.
2.5 outta 5  

An email to me from THE SWEET LIFE director Rocco Simonelli can be found in the comment section where he addresses the picture qaulity of the film.

DVD Review: Machete Maidens Unleashed! (2010)

MACHETE MAIDENS UNLEASHED! (2010)
2 Disc Set DVD

Label: Umbrella Entertainment
Region Code: Region 0 PAL
Rating: 15 Certificate
Duration: 84 mins
Video: 1.77:1 Widescreen 16x9
Audio: English Dolby Digital 5.1, 2.0
Director: Mark Hartley
Cast: Roger Corman, Joe Dante, John Landis, Sid Haig, Judy Brown, Jack Hill
Tagline: The Filipino Revolution That Even Marcos Couldn't Crush!

Mark Hartley's previous genre cinema documentary NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD was a super-charged exploration of Australian exploitation cinema, a mesmerizing doc you watch with pen and paper in hand while you jot the names of films you may never have heard but the  film's combination of outrageous film clips and enthusiastic talking heads, Quentin Tarantino most notably, convinced me that these ozploitation films from down under NEEDED to seen, and the sooner the better.

This time out Hartley has aimed his lens on the renegade exploitation films of the Philippines from the 60's, 70's and 80's, these b-movies drive-in shlockers from the Wild East were a genre of film I was completely unfamiliar with. Where as with the slasher doc GOING TO PIECES: THE RISE AND FALL OF THE SLASHER FILM I had seen 95% of those films, it was a greatest hits of slashers cinema but there wasn't much new under the sun for me to discover. With NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD I had at least seen MAD MAX and RAZORBACK but it really opened my eyes to quite a few films and filmmakers that had never popped up on my radar. Enter MACHETE MAIDENS UNLEASHED! - this may as well have been about cult films from the planet Mars, these films were totally new to me. I had only heard of THE BIG BIRD CAGE, that was the extent of my familiarity with any of the films and this was quite an introduction, it's definitely primed my urge to seek these films out in a big bad way.

The film starts with an introduction by director John Landis (AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON) who gives a great definition of exploitation and explains the three "B's"- blood, boobs and bombs. Landis is a cinema nut I could listen to for several lifetimes, he's witty, informed and totally enthusiastic about schlock cinema. The film concentrates on the three major players in the Filipino exploitation market beginning with the director Eddie Romero who brought forth the BLOOD ISLAND series of films and a successful tidal wave of demented and sleazy exploitation flicks. Then came the age of Cirio H. Santiago, a man who's mix of kung-fu action and blaxploitation resulted in T.N.T. JACKSON and SAVAGE, fun stuff, but apparently not a man known for quality filmmaking. John Davison, New World Marketing director observes "once Cirio started producing and directing, I mean, all bets were off in terms of product being half way decent", then recalling Roger Corman screaming into the phone "you really screwed me this time Cirio!" after a particularly disastrous screening, it's hilarious stuff and makes for compelling viewing. The third major Philippine filmmaker was Bobby Suarez, the PT Barnum of Filipino action films, who directed the nun-ploitation schlock-fest CLEOPATRA WONG, whom counts Tarantino among his worshippers, but again, his films were charmingly inept.

The film is as much a documentary of Roger Corman's involvement in bringing the Wild East exploitation to American drive-ins as it is anything else and there's some great interviews with the b-movie master himself, often rebuking allegations immediately following Joe Dante or John Landis chronicling his notoriously schlocky ways. Hearing Alan Arkush and Joe Dante (PIRANHA, THE HOWLING) recollect their time as trailer editors for Corman is priceless, its nearly slanderous, probably true and quite funny. There's interviews galore with b-movie queens, directors and critics. There's plenty of camera time given to director Jack Hill (THE BIG BIRD HOUSE) who seems to have a firm grasp on what kind of films were being made, Aussie Brian Trenchard-Smith (CUT AND RUN) who speaks a bit about the zany stuntmen, working with the Philippine military and explosives "experts" who may or may not have had missing fingers. The interviews with B-movie stars like  Gloria Hendry (SAVAGE SISTERS), Pam Grier (WOMEN IN CAGES), and genre legend Sid Haig (BLACK MAMA, WHITE MAMA) are chock full of insights and recollections of unsafe sets, shady goings on and just the general insanity of the era, it was like the west of exploitation cinema by all accounts. In a deleted with actress Marlene Clark (THE BEAST MUST DIE) she tells of a near disastrous scene where her character is raped by a group of dwarves (!?!) and during filming the little guys truly thought they were to actually rape her, she had to stop the scene and clarify the situation, that's the kind of sleazy behind-the-scene stuff we get here in abundance, these were mondo psychotronic films made in unsafe conditions without a safety net, really bizarre stuff.

Many of the filmmakers discuss making these films with the full cooperation with the Marcos regime, who were only too happy to supply military troupes and equipment to the productions when they weren't otherwise strafing rebel uprisings, it's such an weird but oddly appropriate setting for these sleazy grindhouse films. Of course, there's mention of Francis Ford Coppola's famously difficult shoot of APOCALYPSE NOW, the largest production ever to shoot in the Philippines, the films is a bit outside the film's sleazy b-movie scope but it felt appropriate, and any excuse for a R. Lee Ermey (FULL METAL JACKET) interview is appreciated and needs no explanation.

At times some of the interviewees attempt to argue that these sleazy, often racist exploitation films, turned out for a buck with a script held together by sweaty breasts, shower scenes and violence, entertained ideas of feminism which John Landis dismisses with no small amount of incredulity, but it's all in fun to me and if some of these b-movie queens felt empowered while they were being raped by dwarves, good for them.  

DVD: MACHETE MAIDEN UNLEASHED! is presented in 1.77:1 anamorphic widescreen with optional English language Dolby Digital 5.1 and 2.0 audio with no subtitle. The film looks great, there's a smorgasborg of the film clips are of varying quality but it's a sharp looking, well edited film. Special features include an entertaining commentary from Hartley and crew discussing the creation of the film, getting access to the cast and crew of the films, and a ton of anecdotal tidbits that make this a necessary watch if you love the film. There's nearly an hour of deleted interviews with John Landis, Joe Dante and Alan Arkusch, Paul Koslo, Marlene Clark, Sid Haig, Darby Hinton and more. They must've been excised for time because these are great bits, including the aforementioned Marlene Clark midget-rape fiasco. There's a fun "The Oath of Green Blood" which is a bit of marketing schlock genius and some test footage of the rather unfortunate creature from UP FROM THE DEPTHS, some Fantastic Fest Q+A audio and a featurette, extensive stills, posters and behind-the-scenes galleries, a theatrical trailer and perhaps the second best feature on the set; a 65 mins 'Filipino Exploitation Trailer Reel' featuring trailers for many of the films featured in the film. The best feature on the set is an honest to goodness Filipino exploitation film directed by Cirio H. Santiago THE MUTHERS (1975) starring the kick-ass Jeannie Bell (TNT JACKSON) presented in 16x9 widescreen. It tells the story of a sea pirate going undercover in a prison camp/coffee plantation. It's a great flick with torture, kung-fu, jungle action, women-in prison elements, and of course, a shower scene and breasts galore. Note, this is the  first time THE MUTHERS has been available in 16x9 widescreen, it's fun stuff. Many thanks to Umbrella Entertainment for stuffing this set with interesting extras that compliment the feature presentation. 

DISC 1 Special Features:
- Audio Commentary with Director and Crew
- More Stories from the Cast (55:49) 16:9
- Filipino Exploitation Trailer Reel (65:54) Letterboxed
- The Oath of Green Blood (1:148) 4:3 Letterboxed
- "Up From The Depths" Monster Test Footage (3:14) 4:3 Letterboxed
- Fantastic Fest Red Carpet Featurette (4:33) 4:3 Letterboxed
- Fantastic Fest Q+A with Roger and Julie Corman, Hartley and Tim League
- Poster and Stills Gallery (100 images)
- Behind the Scenes Gallery (100 images)
- Theatrical Trailer (2:35) 16:9
- Easter Egg: Trailer for RAW FORCE (1:58) 4:3 Letterboxed

DISC 2 Special Features:
-Cirio Santiago's THE MUTHERS (1974) presented in 16x9 Widescreen

Verdict: I came to this film with no knowledge of Philippine exploitation but I walked away with not just a great appreciation for the Filipino schlock of yore but a serious hunger to stuff my eyes with as many of 'em as I can, I would say feed my brain but bringing your brain to these films might prove detrimental. Definitely a fun, fast-paced film that I highly recommend to anyone who loves cult cinema, grindhouse, schlock, exploitation or just plain bad cinema - a MUST WATCH for genre cinema fans. The film has also reaffirmed my love of Joe Dante and John Landis, two genius filmmakers who's love of schlock is contagious. What's next for Hartley? No clue but I for one would like to see him tackle the Italian exploitation films, that would be quite brilliant, wouldn't you agree? 4 outta 5

Umbrella Entertainment's MACHETE MAIDENS UNLEASHED! two-disc DVD can be ordered HERE.

For our Region 1 locked readers I will tell you that US distributor DARK SKY FILMS are releasing MACHETE MAIDENS UNLEASHED! in North America in late July. No special features have been announced thus far. I'm not 100% sure but I do not believe the R1 DVD will include THE MUTHERS either, to which I say GET YOURSELF A REGION FREE DVD PLAYER - there's a world of cinema out there - don't limit your collection.

DVD Review: The Defiled (2010)

THE DEFILED (2011)

Label: Chemical Burn Entertainment
Rating: Unrated
Duration: 100 mins
Video: Widescreen
Audio: English Dolby Digital Stereo
Director: Julian Grant
Cast: Brian Shaw, Kathleen Lawlor, Angela Zagone
Tagline: We Are All Dead Meat

Zombie films... like the undead hordes themselves there's a lot of 'em out there, thousands of titles and hundreds more appear every year, big budget, low budget and no-budget undead films are released in great numbers every year with few displaying any distinguishing characteristics of note. While their numbers are legion it's a genre that's not exactly brimming with original ideas, most are variations on the pre-Romero voodoo zombies or the contaminated undead by way of Trioxin or whatnot, the infected or the supernaturally possessed. Not that I'm complaining just saying there's not a lot new under the sun, y'know?

Then came along a screener of director Julian Grant's micro-budgeted zombie epic THE DEFILED from Chemical Burn Entertainment, a film short on funds but rich in concept. At first glance I was not expecting much, the synopsis sounded like  pretentious arthouse baloney but I gave it a spin and I gotta say I really dug this film. It takes place in post apocalyptic world where a virus is mutating people into mindless cannibals, high functioning zombies with a taste for human flesh. Wait, that's not original at all, right? Well, the film follows the exploits of an infected man named Yar (Brian Shaw). He's just trying to survive the apocalypse as best he can, coping with being infected, all the while trying provide for his infected family; a son, daughter and wife who's swollen with child. Through circumstances he's left to care for his newborn while on the run from roving bands of the uninfected who seem to be clearing the area of the infected.

Yar is fighting his urges to consume human flesh, you see him crave it but he limits himself to bird eggs and animal flesh which he chews into soft bits and feeds to his newborn. His goodness is not just limited to abstaining from the eating of human flesh either, he's a compassionate man, and rescues an uninfected woman named Janice from other less friendly flesh-starved infected. She joins him for the remainder of his journey, apparently indebted by his kind act and we are along for the ride till it comes to it's bitter conclusion, that's all I'm giving away. I think this is a film that deserves some serious attention. It's an audacious premise, sure it's a bit arty but not film school pretentious arty. In the year 2011 for someone to not only attempt a nearly silent, non-verbal, black and white zombie film from the perspective of the infected, but to actually pull it off is pretty ballsy. It's an eerie flick with atmosphere to spare that's enhanced by David Findley's haunting score. What really sold the film for me was the outstanding mimed performance from Brian Shaw as Yar, what he is able to convey through pained facial expressions and soulful eyes is pretty spectacular, he's the Marcel Marceau of the zombie-set, the film's entire narrative is expressed wordlessly with only non-verbal grunts and physical action, great stuff.

There's blood, goo and guts and it has a decidedly NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD feel to it, it's not a gorefest but it's effective. The film's only drawback for me was what I felt to be an excessive run time of 100 minutes. There are a few scenes that languor a bit, they're not ruinous, and may actually enhance the creepy dream like quality of the film, but some judicious editing could easily have excised 10-15 minutes here without detracting from the film.

DVD: THE DEFILED is presented in anamorphic widescreen in blue-tinted black and white with Dolby Digital stereo audio, no subtitle options. There is a brief red/orange tinted color sequence during the "birthing", but other than that it's blue-ish black and white. The films is low-budget but looks decent, it's eerie and harkens back to George A. Romero's NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968) and Herek Harvey's CARNIVAL OF SOULS (1962), films that definitely were inspirations for the filmmakers. The film lacks definition though, it's pretty soft throughout. The stereo audio adequately resolves the film's non-verbal grunting, effects and David Findley's evocative score.

Special features include an audio commentary with the director Julian Grant and actors Kathleen Lawlor and Brian Shaw, it's casual and informative. There's also Home Movie (1:22) which seems to be an on-camera make-up tests, an anamorphic widescreen Trailer (1:40) plus a Slide Slow consisting of 17 promo stills from the film set to the filmscore.

Special Features:
- Audio Commentary with Director Julian Grant and Actors Kathleen Lawlor and Brian Shaw.
- Home Movies (1:22)
- Trailer (1:40)
- Slide Show (17 Stills) (3:36)  

Verdict: Julian Grant's THE DEFILED is a haunting film, it sounds slightly absurd and novel and it's definitely not for everyone but any film that can breath new life into the land of the undead is well worth a watch to me. If you're looking for a zombie film with a  different spin on things this comes with a high recommend. 3 outta 5

http://thedefiled.com/home.html

SCREEN CAPS

DVD Review: Ninjas Vs Vampires

NINJAS VS. VAMPIRES (2010)

Label: Vicious Circle Films
Region Code: Region 1 NTSC
Rating: Unrated
Duration: 89 mins
Video: Anamorphic Widescreen
Audio: English Dolby Digital Stereo
Director: Justin Timpane
Cast: Jay Saunders, Daniel Ross, Cory Okouchi, Devon Marie Burt

I missed out on director Justin Timpane's previous film NINJAS VS. ZOMBIES (2008) but here we are with what I assume is a direct sequel, NINJAS VS. VAMPIRES, a schlocky action-horror-comedy genre mash-up that begins with a painfully awkward maneuver by Aaron (Jay Saunders) as he attempts to break out of the dreaded friend zone with his best friend Alex (Devon Marie Burt), it's painful to watch as she shoots him down, he's a brave man for trying. Luckily for him the failed bid is interrupted when a group of blood thirsty vampires attack. They're goners for sure till a mysterious groups of Ninjas rescue them, staking the vamps who go up in a blaze of flames, it's a very BLADE-like effect. The next day Alex doesn't seem to recall the prior nights events, she's been "glammered" TRUE BLOOD style but Aaron recalls everything, seems he's immune to the glammering,  and sets out to in search of the mysterious saviours which leads him to the Ninjas whom are led by comic shop proprietor Cole (Cory Okouch) and his band of vamp fighting LARP-ers which include a sorceress named Ann (Melissa McConnell), a wisecracking ass-kicker Kyle (Daniel Ross) and a vampire who fights for human kind Lily (Carla Okouchi). Aaron is initiated into he group and thus begins a fun good vs. evil romp pitting Ninjas against vampires.

The vampires are lead by the smug and smartly attired overlord Seth (Kurt Skarstedt) who along with his blood sucking clan are out to destroy all humans using the power of a mystical amulet. His fanged brood consists of his Major Domo (Paul Siebe), Seth's brother Manson (Daniel Mascarello) who dresses like Michelle Pfiefer's Catwoman and speaks like he's channeling Christian Bale's Batman, he one of those so evil he'll kill his own kind types, the cloaked-masked figure The Bishop (P.J. Megaw) who looks like G.I. JOE's Destro or Dr. Doom, and two MAD MAX looking barbarian vamps.  

This micro-budgeted film is a pretty good watch, it plays with vampire conventions and pokes fun at itself and the genre. There's a lot of camp here but it's all in cheesy good fun with tons of action, violence and comedy, it's a well assembled flick but it's hamstrung by some heavy CGI use which I think is the bane of the indie horror flicks these days but I found it tolerable. The film's 89 minute running time moves along at a good clip enhanced by some tight editing and a pretty kick-ass alt. rock/metal soundtrack. The story is a bit convoluted, the jokes are a bit much at times and there's too many characters but it the end it's all in good fun and plenty entertaining.


Highlights for me were actors Daniel Ross and Jay Sanders, very funny guys with some cheese-tastic one-liners, a MATRIX-style training montage, and the overall goofy tone of the film. I was definitely in the mood for a schlocky horror-comedy and that's what I got. The ending of the film sets up a possible sequel that would probably be titled NINJAS VS. MONSTERS - I'm totally game for that, would love to see it ion 2012!

DVD: The film is presented in anamorphic widescreen in Dolby Digital stereo with no subtitles. What we were sent for review is a typical Vicious Circle Films DVDR screener with no menu, no features and a reoccurring "Property of Breaking Glass Pictures" watermark. I can't comment on the features but they are listed below and seem plentiful. The audio and video quality of the screener are decent,  it looks shot on consumer grade digital video, the audio handles dialogue, effects and the heavy rock soundtrack quite well.

Special Features:
- Three Audio Commentaries - Cast - Producers - Director
- Deleted Scenes with Optional Commentary
- Bloopers
- Solarice Music Video "Again to Die" NINJAS VS. VAMPIRES Theme
- Exclusive Sneak Peek NINJAS VS. Comic Books
- Alternate Ending with Optional Commentary
- From Zombies to Vampires Featurette
- Theatrical Premier Featurette


Verdict: NINJAS VS. VAMPIRES is an entertaining flick with tons of action, swordplay, hand-to-hand combat and an over-the-top sense of humor that may not agree with everyone but I dug it. While the CGI doesn't ruin the film for me I would have loved some old school splatter but based on this I'll definitely check out Timpane's previous genre mash-up NINJAS VS. ZOMBI'S. It's a cheesy good time that lovers of schlock are sure to enjoy.
2.5 outta 5

http://ninjasvsvampires.com/

NINJAS VS. VAMPIRE Screen Captures

DVD Review: Ding Dong Dead (2010)

DING DONG DEAD (2010)

Label: MVD Visual
Region Code: Region 0 NTSC
Rating: Unrated
Duration: 70 mins
Video: Widescreen 16x9
Audio: Dolby Digital Stereo
Director: Creep Creepersin
Cast: Luke Y. Thompson, Julia Boyd, Nicole Sienna, Tara Strand, Julie Rose, Destiny Rodreguiez, Shannon Freyer, Dolce Death, Tara Cardinal, Vanessa Moreno, Megan Francis, Devanny Pinn, Chaile Wall, Elina Madison
Tagline: You Wanted a War? You Got One!

Doug (Luke Y. Thompson) is a recently unemployed schlub of a man, a bit of a loser in fact. A stocky little fellow whom refers to himself in the third person and obsesses over his sexy MILF neighbor Claudia (Elina Madison, SOMEONE'S KNOCKING AT THE DOOR, CORPORATE CUTTHROAT MASSACRE) while mumbling suggestive innuendos to himself like "you like it when I water my yard, do ya?" and then imagining her seductive response "I do, I like it when you water your lawn, I like it is so much. You know what it makes me wanna do to you?"until she overhears him and then he freezes up, like most of us would I guess.

Now unemployed Doug is left to wallow in his own crapulence and starts going a bit nutty left to his own devices without a menial job to keep him from entering the abyss of insanity. He sings songs to himself while cruising the internet for job listings, he talks back to the television set, y'know, the usual home alone stuff. He just seems like a sad little dude, this is something Creepersin seems to know quite a bit about and is touched upon in nearly all his films that I've seen.

After a late night run for a fast food Doug has a strange encounter with a mischievous girl gang known as the Ding Dong Ditchers, a group of gothy girls dressed in black who terrorize the neighborhood by ringing doorbells in the dark of night and running away leaving the homeowners dumbfounded, not exactly hardened criminals, yet. Doug calls the police over this annoyance and they intervene on his behalf. The triple D's are incensed by this and step-up their game from petty pranking to some low grade assault which quickly escalates to the point of no return.

Reservoir Bitches

The problem is that the DDD's don't realize how unstable Doug is; he's unemployed and a bit nutty, anyone who refers to themselves in the third person is not to be toyed with in my experience and the pranks are shredding his frayed sanity. During an egg raid on Doug one of the DDD's dies accidentally leading to an all out war between the  homeowner and the pranksters.

The girls not realizing one of their own has been killed launch an all out suburban assault on Dougie's home in search of their friend but they are unaware that Doug is having a mental meltdown. When the killings begin they come fast and furious and in quick succession; a choke-out, suffocation, cleavings a shovel to the throat and some dismemberment. The special effects in the film are quite minimal, not bad, just not focused on. While it's not a gore-soaked bloodbath there's a body count here that would do either Jason Vorhees or Michael Meyers proud. Something that made me laugh was that at one point during the invasion one of the gals decides to take a dump and Doug catches her on the toilet, quite a vulnerable position, which leads to a lethal swirly. Nice. This was quite an entertaining watch, Luke Y. Thompson's comic portrayal of a suburban schlub's descent into madness whilst dealing out some revenge is a recommended watch. 

Dougie's got a gun - and a sweet VHS collection!

DVD: DING DONG DEAD is presented in anamorphic widescreen with Dolby Digital stereo, there are no subtitle options. As with all Creepersin films it's a micro-budget feature, $1500 all told according to the commentary, and it looks pretty good, on par with CORPORATE CUTTHROAT MASSACRE though the night scenes are quite dark and grainy. I noticed the film is a bit brighter and has a more vibrant color scheme than his previous films which was appreciated.  I think some proper lighting might have gone a long way here but it's quite watchable. Creepersin handles cinematography himself and you can see his form improve with each film. The stereo audio adequately handles both dialogue and effects plus Kenneth Hampton's quirky score sounds great, definitely the best score on any of the Creepersin films, fun stuff. Special features include two fun commentaries and a behind-the-scenes featurette with cast and crew interviews wherein Creepersin talks about the inspiration for the film.

Special Features:
- Behind-the-Scenes Featurette (8:55)
- Audio Commentary with Director Creep Creepersin
- Audio Commentary with Star Luke Y. Thompson and Creep Creepersin

Verdict: It's been an interesting journey following Creep Creepersin filmography and he's come quite a ways from FRANKENSTEIN. This is a very quirky comedy with some nice horror elements. Much like Creepersin's last film CORPORATE CUTTHROAT MASSACRE the comedy is the strong suit here, the violence is not particularly gruesome but it is fun stuff. I would love to see a straight comedy from Creepersin minus the horror, his comedy writing is pretty great. 3.5 outta 5

http://www.mvdvisual.com/

http://www.creepersinfilms.com/

www.twitter.com/creepersin