HIDEOUS! (1997) (Blu-ray Review)

HIDEOUS! (1997) 

Label: Full Moon Features
Region Code: Region-FREE
Rating: Unrated
Duration: 85 Minutes 
Audio: English Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo, Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround
Video: 1080p HD Widescreen (1.85:1) 
Director: Charles Band
Cast: Michael Citriniti, Rhonda Griffin, Mel Johnson, Jacqueline Lovell, Tracie May, Jerry O’Donnell

Charles Band and Full Moon has always had a soft-spot for tiny-terror films, low-budget movies that involved little things doing bad stuff, killer dolls and puppets (Puppet Master, Demonic Toys), galaxy travelling little people (Dollman), and even half-sized versions of the Universal Monsters (The Creeps), and  Hideous! (1997)is yet another slice of miniature monster mayhem. 

The movie opens with a scenario that feels more akin to Troma than Full Moon, with a trio sewage plant employees skimming the cesspool with long-poled nets, looking for unwanted chunks of whatever horrid stuff might plug up the works. The more senior of the trio relates to the newbies how he's found everything from a diamond ring (which he proposed to his girlfriend with) to a kilo of heroin,  and even deformed mutant babies! As luck would have it he fishes out another deformed mutant newborn and carries it away to his car in the parking lot, apparently he's been selling these deformed babies he finds to an unscrupulous business woman named Belinda Yost (Tracie May, The Game) who in turn sells the freaks to the highest bidder for a massive profit. The two main collectors of hideous deformed babies in the area are are Dr. Lorca (Michael Citrini, Goodfellas) and Napoleon Lazar, played by Mel Johnson Jr., the mutant cabbie Benny from Total Recall!

When it is revealed, by her own dim-witted secretary Elvina (Rhonda Griffin, The Creeps), that Yost short shrifted Dr. Lorca in favor of Lazar in regard to the sale of her latest deformed acquisition, the angry Lorca sends his sexy female assistant/thug Sheila (Jacqueline Lovell, Head of The Family) to retrieve the latest mutant freak for his own private collection, she does so topless and wearing a gorilla mask in the dead of winter, fun stuff, completely nonsensical, but awesome in a schlocky what-the-fuck, why not, sort of way. As I said in the review of Head of the Family I definitely have a thing for Lovell, looking very much like a trailer park version of former adult film star Traci Lords and Hollywood's Scarlett Johansson. 

Angry that he's been stolen from, Lazar along with Yost, Elvina and a newly hired private eye (Jerry O'Donnell, TV's Mad Men) head to Dr. Lorca's Gothic castle to confront him about the theft, but what they don't anticipate is that the new baby freak is somehow still alive and has re-animated three of Lorca's other prized baby freaks, which he keeps in a jar full of formaldehyde, which causes a bit of a mayhem for the six people at the castle.

As a tiny-terror entry Hideous! has it's moments but is bogged down by the fact that the tiny-terror action is slow in the coming and doesn't pay off too well, the freaks, designed by Mark Rappaport, (Zombeavers), are kept to a slime-covered minimum, and there's way too much talking and not enough terror. It helps that the lovely Jackie Lovell drops her top for a bit and spends the entire film in a pair of hot shorts and a leather vest that only just barely covers her top-drawer assets, and that both Citrini and Johnson are gleefully chewing up the scenery having a blast, but it was a let down that the deformed babies are kept mostly in the dark, caught in very fleeting glimpses, and even those are a bit under lit.

I also loved Tracie May as the deformed baby-broker, she has no scruples and is sort of sexy, too. She looks a bit like a femme fatale from a 40's noir movie, and her shit-for-brains secretary is fun, too.  A ditsy dame who at one point has her nipple nibbled on by one of the mutant babies, it's a fun scene, but for the most part the freaks do not have a lot to do, which is a shame, and as a result this one loses points, but is still a fun watch.  

Audio/Video: Hideous! (1997) arrives on Blu-ray from Full Moon Features, restored from the original 35mm negative, and it looks pretty solid with good contrast and black levels, colors are nicely vibrant, purples and red really pop, though there is a brief scene at about the 61 minute mark when the video quality drops significantly, it looks like that scene comes from  standard definition source, perhaps an old video master. That being said, other than some very minor white speckling, dirt and horizontal scratches the movie looks quite good to my eyes, though it does seem a bit dark at times The disc includes a lossy English Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo and surround 5.1, Full Moon have yet to embrace lossless audio, but both do the job, though I preferred the stereo track. The dialogue and effects are mixed well, but the Richard Band (Re-Animator) score is one of his lesser efforts. 

Extras on the disc begin with the original 19-min Videozone featurette with vintage interviews from Charles Band,  Michael Citriniti, Tracie May, Rhonda Griffin, Terry O'Donnell and Jackie Lovell. Bands speaks about directuing for the first time since Prehysteria, filming at his studio in Romania,  while Cinitrini speaks about the fun of chewing up the scenery, Tracie May relishes in playing such a nasty character, and wearing a particular fragrance crafted just for her character by her friend who was a perfume designer. Rhonda Griffin speaks a bit about her brainless character who has heart, while Lovell loved the idea of being nude with a gorilla mask. These vintage Videozone segments are always a blast, Band was ahead of the curve when it came to including special features, even back in the days of VHS. There's also an audio commentary from Mel Johnson Jr and Michael Citriniti, who have fun recollecting their time on the low-budget film, speaking about the fun times they had in Romania, making fun of their dialogue, and the secret to how the lovely Lovell used double-sided tape to keep that vest secured to her breasts.  We also get about 14 minutes of Full Moon trailers in widescreen HD. 

Special Features: 
- Commentary with Actors Mel Johnson Jr and Michael Citriniti
- Original Videozone (19 Min)
- Full Moon Trailers: Ravenwolf Towers (2 min) HD, Head of the Family (2 min) HD, Killjoy Psycho Circus (2 min) HD, Puppet Master 2 (2 min) HD, Puppet Master 3 (2 min) HD, Vampire Journals (2 min) HD, Spectres (2 min)HD

Another 90s Full Moon tiny-terror entry arrives on Blu-ray looking solid, while this doesn't rise to the level of cream of the crop of the Full Moon catalog this is absolutely on par with Head of The Family (1996)as a fun, low-budget, slice of Full Moon schlock. If you dig Full Moon's 90's output like Head of The Family and The Creeps (1997)you will probably dig this, if you're not a fan of FM or those film this won't change your mind, it's hokey and goofy, but it's also entertaining in a trashy sort of way. 2.5/5

Mutant Baby Shocker HIDEOUS! (1997) Comes to Blu-ray March 21st from Full Moon

Full Moon presents

The Blu-ray premiere of mutant baby monster shocker

HIDEOUS!(1997) 

For the first time on Blu-ray comes this wild and weird Full Moon cult favorite

You never know what weirdness you’ll find in the sewers as a hapless treatment worker discovers when he enters the diabolical world of Charles Band’s HIDEOUS! Upon trudging through the subterranean sludge and doing his doody-sifting duty he comes across a pack of strange deformed mutant babies and monsters that he takes to the black-market in hopes of making a quick buck. What happens next is the sort of high-concept B-movie absurdity that only Band and veteran strange cinema writer Neal Marshall Stevens (THIRTEEN GHOSTS, RETRO PUPPET MASTER) could dream up, as evil doctors and mad hustlers vie to get their mitts on the re-animated miniature mutants. Gore, sex and wanton weirdness ensues.

If it’s a tasteless, terrifying and slickly produced trash masterpiece you’re looking for, look no further than HIDEOUS!  This one has it all!

Starring Mel Johnson Jr, Michael Citriniti, Rhonda Griffin, Tracie May and the amazing, smoking hot Jacqueline Lovell from Band’s HEAD OF THE FAMILY(also out now on Blu-ray) and boasting a startling electronic music score by the great Richard Band, the utterly insane HIDEOUS! makes its Blu-ray premiere on March 21st, 2017 in a stunning Special Edition, with a crisp HD transfer remastered from the original 35mm camera negative.

HEAD OF THE FAMILY (1996) (Blu-ray Review)

HEAD OF THE FAMILY (1996) 

Label: Full Moon Entertainment
Region Code: Region-FREE
Rating: R
Duration: 82 Minutes
Video: 1080p HD Widescreen (1.78:1) 
Audio: English Dolby Digital 5.1, Dolby Digital 2.0 
Director: Charles Band
Cast: Blake Adams, Jacqueline Lovell, J.W. Perra, Bob Schott, Alexandria Quinn 

In this weird 90s entry from Full Moon we have a local diner operator named Lance (Blake Adams, The Killer Eye) who is having an affair with a married woman, a scrumdiddlyumptious slice of white trash hotness named Loretta (Jacqueline Lovell, Lolita 2000). The problem is that Loretta is married to a long-haired biker thug named Howard (Gordon Jennison Noice, Virtuosity), a brute of guy who is trying to muscle in on Lance's business as a silent partner-type. Howard is scary but not too bright, and the two lovers manage to carry on with the affair right under his nose, and he seems none the wiser, early on they hook up in the employee bathroom at the diner while Lance finishes his meal. 

On their way home from one of their nightly sex-flings Lance and Loretta observe something strange on the road home, discovering that the local weirdos the Stackpoole's are abducting people right off the highway and experimenting on them for nefarious purposes. Lance uses this tidbit of info to blackmail the Stackpoole's into making Howard disappear on his behalf, in addition to extorting them for $2000 a week, but as you might expect crossing the Stackpoole's is just a bad idea. 

You see, the Stackpoole's are a family of quintuplets, the family is headed up by Myron (J.W. Perra, Mystery Monsters) who has a tiny wheelchair ridden body with an enormously deformed head, he's the brains of the family, of course. He has the ability to mind-control his other siblings who are a bit on the tiny-brain side. We have the wide-eyed Wheeler (James Jones, The Dark Mist) with eagle-sharp vision and an enhanced sense of smell and hearing, the brainless strongman Otis (Bob Shott, Vamp), and sister Ernestina (one-time underage porn star Alexandria Quinn, Scooby-Doo! Curse of the Lake Monster)is just a sexy vixen. Through them Myron is able to perform his oddball experiments in his basement dungeon, where he hopes to transplant his evil-genius brain into a normal sized person's body, he also puts on stage shows for his own amusement from time to time. 

Head of the Family is a fun watch, if you love the weirdness and silly humor of Full Moon stuff I think you will have a good time with this one, just put that thinking cap aside for about eighty-minutes and you're good to go. The characters are fun, Myron is a creepy Southern mad doc of sorts with a giant head with the psychic ability to control his mindless drone siblings, it's a fun conceit. Lance and Loretta are also a fun pair as they fornicate and conspire to do away with her pesky husband, doing both at the same time usually, ninety percent of their conversations are had while having sex! Blake Adams plays Lance as a fast-talking hustler, full of charms and cheap charisma, while Loretta as played by Jacqueline Lovell comes of as a trailer park version of Scarlett Johansson, she's easy on the eyes and kindly sheds her clothes to reveal her top-shelf assets, which is always appreciated. For his part J.W. Perra gives the character of Myron nice Southern evilness, the make-up effects used to create his bulbous deformed head are impressive, and there's a drool-filled nipple licking scene with Loretta that was just so icky to watch, this movie certainly has it's moments. 

Audio/Video: Head of the Family Arrives on Blu-ray from Full Moon Entertainment looking solid for a low-budget 90s production, on par with what we've seen from Full Moon to date, including the absence of lossless audio option, we have instead choice of Dolby Digital 2.0 and 5.1 Surround. There are no subtitle options on the disc. 

Extras include a commentary from Actor J.W. Perra who does the commentary as both himself and as his character Myron which was sort of neat. Other extras include a promo for the planned 2008 sequel Bride of Head which never happened, at least not yet. We also get the original trailer (2 min) and the 2016 HD trailer (2 min) for the film plus trailers for Vampire Journals(2 min), Puppet Master 2 (2 min), Puppet Master 3 (2 min), Subspecies 2 (2 min) and Specters (2 min). 

Special Features: 
– Audio Commentary with Actor J.W. Perra
– Bride of Head Promo (2 min) 
– Original Trailer (2 min) 
- 2016 HD Trailer (2 min) HD 

– Full Moon Trailers: Vampire Journals (2 mins), Puppet Master 2 (2 min), Puppet Master 3 (2 min), Subspecies 2 (2 min), Specters (2 min)

The movie doesn't have a lot of atmosphere unfortunately, which would have escalated this one a bit, but it does have a peculiar softcore-horror feel that was at least fun, with some goofy humor and campiness, but the lack of atmosphere and that quick wrap ending brings it down a bit, but if you're a Full Moon fan there's plenty to enjoy about Head Of The Family.  2.5/5

TROPHY HEADS (2014)

TROPHY HEADS (2014)

Label: Full Moon Features

Region Code: Region-FREE 

Rating: Unrated

Duration: 97 Minutes

Audio: English Dolby Digital 2.0 and 5.1 

Video: Anamorphic Widescreen 

Director: Charles Band

Cast: Adam Noble Roberts, Maria Olsen, Brinke Stevens, Linnea Quigley, Darcy DeMoss, Jacqueline Lovell, Michelle Bauer, Irena Murphy, Denice Duff

Max (Adam Noble Roberts) is a Full Moon Entertainment junkie who lives in his Mom's basement where he spends every waking hour pouring over his precious stacks vintage VHS horror. His love for b-movie scream queens runs very deep, a little more than your average horror fan. He obsesses over the fact that his beloved ladies of cult cinema are slowly fading into obscurity and the years wear on. This simply will not do and superfan Max hatches a diabolical scheme to kidnap and imprison six of he most famous scream queens of the 80s and 90s.

Max's mother (Maria Olsen) is only too happy to help her troubled son on his twisted scavenger hunt of b-movie scream queens. One by one he tracks down his favorite fright girls from the 80s and 90s and sets about capturing them.  We have Brinke Stevens (SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-A-RAMA), Linnea Quigley (RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD), Darcy DeMoss (JASON LIVES: FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VI), Jacqueline Lovell (HEAD OF THE FAMILY), Michelle Bauer (HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS), Denice Duff (BLOODSTONE: SUBSPECIES II).

It's silly and fun as Max and his mother devise ways of ambushing the scream queens whom have gone on to boring day jobs in the years since. They have careers selling smoothies on the beach, one's massage therapist, another is struggling to land roles in low-budget horror films and then we have Linnea Quigley as a born again Christian going door-to-door spreading the word. Max cattle prods them and imprisons them in a make shift basement prison back at mom's house, keeping them in cages like some bizarre scream queen petting zoo. The end game being that he takes the out one by one and forces them to re enact scenes from his favorite films before he cuts off their heads to display as trophies, now that's a true one of kind collectible!

I will admit that aside from Brinke Stevens and Linnea Quigley the other scream queens are not familiar to me, but that did not stop me from enjoying the film and the wisecracking dialogue exchanges in the least. I would never accuse them of being very good actresses but I think I can safely say these fine queens of horror are more notable for willingness to drop their tops and scream bloody murder than their acting chops, and that's just fine by me. 

It should be noted that none of the now middle-aged six scream queens appear in the nude but do showcase their top drawer assets with ample cleavage. Without being disrespectful to our scream queens I will say that's probably a good thing! To that end we have the voluptuous Irena Murphy (WEREWOLF RISING) appearing nude for pretty much the entirety of the film.  

My favorite scene would be a casting call with director Stuart Gordon (FROM BEYOND) who appears as a fictionalized version of himself. Here we have younger b-movie starlets Jean Louise (PUPPET MASTER X), Robin Sydney (THE LOST), Jessica Morris (THE HAUNTED CASINO), Amy Paffrath (EVIL BONG II), Jackie Lovell (THE KILLER EYE) mixing it up with scream queen Denice Duff (SUBSPECIES II). I love how they introduce each other by first and last name, just in case you may forgotten who they are if you ever knew to begin with. They play off each other with a fun mix of slight ditziness and cattiness, and are clearly having a blast. Pretty sure this is one of the better films any of these young starlets have featured in for quite some time. 

The gore hounds will be let down with just some digital blood spatter and a handful of practical decapitated heads,  but this is more to be enjoyed for the fun premise and inherent humor and not a gore-drenched movie, this is a comedy with a smattering of horror. Charles Band has created a fun, campy love letter to the scream queens of the past that is both and respectful and in a way sort of passes the torch to the younger generation of horror babes. 

It is Adam Noble Roberts and Maria Olsen as the demented b-movie nut and his mother who steal the show. These two are just awesome, a truly twisted depiction of a weirdo who lives in his mom's basement watching horror movies in his underwear while she entertains his every whim and putting up with his bratty outbursts. As he mounts his trophy heads he carries on strange little  conversations with the scream queens, he gives Max a soul and while I wouldn't say he was sympathetic he is a lot of fun. 

Surely not a classic slice of horror cinema or even one of the better horror-comedies this year but the film succeeds as a fun, low-budget homage to the scream queens of yesteryear and the cheesy b-movies that made them famous. 

Special Features:
- Audio commentary by stars Darcy DeMoss, Brinke Stevens, and Jacqueline Lovell and producer/director Charles Band
- VideoZone making-of featurette (10 Minutes)
- Uncut behind-the-scenes footage (23 Minutes)
- Full Moon Trailers
- "Submit Your Head" photo gallery