HIDEOUS! (1997) (Blu-ray Review)

HIDEOUS! (1997) 

Label: Full Moon Features
Region Code: Region-FREE
Rating: Unrated
Duration: 85 Minutes 
Audio: English Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo, Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround
Video: 1080p HD Widescreen (1.85:1) 
Director: Charles Band
Cast: Michael Citriniti, Rhonda Griffin, Mel Johnson, Jacqueline Lovell, Tracie May, Jerry O’Donnell

Charles Band and Full Moon has always had a soft-spot for tiny-terror films, low-budget movies that involved little things doing bad stuff, killer dolls and puppets (Puppet Master, Demonic Toys), galaxy travelling little people (Dollman), and even half-sized versions of the Universal Monsters (The Creeps), and  Hideous! (1997)is yet another slice of miniature monster mayhem. 

The movie opens with a scenario that feels more akin to Troma than Full Moon, with a trio sewage plant employees skimming the cesspool with long-poled nets, looking for unwanted chunks of whatever horrid stuff might plug up the works. The more senior of the trio relates to the newbies how he's found everything from a diamond ring (which he proposed to his girlfriend with) to a kilo of heroin,  and even deformed mutant babies! As luck would have it he fishes out another deformed mutant newborn and carries it away to his car in the parking lot, apparently he's been selling these deformed babies he finds to an unscrupulous business woman named Belinda Yost (Tracie May, The Game) who in turn sells the freaks to the highest bidder for a massive profit. The two main collectors of hideous deformed babies in the area are are Dr. Lorca (Michael Citrini, Goodfellas) and Napoleon Lazar, played by Mel Johnson Jr., the mutant cabbie Benny from Total Recall!

When it is revealed, by her own dim-witted secretary Elvina (Rhonda Griffin, The Creeps), that Yost short shrifted Dr. Lorca in favor of Lazar in regard to the sale of her latest deformed acquisition, the angry Lorca sends his sexy female assistant/thug Sheila (Jacqueline Lovell, Head of The Family) to retrieve the latest mutant freak for his own private collection, she does so topless and wearing a gorilla mask in the dead of winter, fun stuff, completely nonsensical, but awesome in a schlocky what-the-fuck, why not, sort of way. As I said in the review of Head of the Family I definitely have a thing for Lovell, looking very much like a trailer park version of former adult film star Traci Lords and Hollywood's Scarlett Johansson. 

Angry that he's been stolen from, Lazar along with Yost, Elvina and a newly hired private eye (Jerry O'Donnell, TV's Mad Men) head to Dr. Lorca's Gothic castle to confront him about the theft, but what they don't anticipate is that the new baby freak is somehow still alive and has re-animated three of Lorca's other prized baby freaks, which he keeps in a jar full of formaldehyde, which causes a bit of a mayhem for the six people at the castle.

As a tiny-terror entry Hideous! has it's moments but is bogged down by the fact that the tiny-terror action is slow in the coming and doesn't pay off too well, the freaks, designed by Mark Rappaport, (Zombeavers), are kept to a slime-covered minimum, and there's way too much talking and not enough terror. It helps that the lovely Jackie Lovell drops her top for a bit and spends the entire film in a pair of hot shorts and a leather vest that only just barely covers her top-drawer assets, and that both Citrini and Johnson are gleefully chewing up the scenery having a blast, but it was a let down that the deformed babies are kept mostly in the dark, caught in very fleeting glimpses, and even those are a bit under lit.

I also loved Tracie May as the deformed baby-broker, she has no scruples and is sort of sexy, too. She looks a bit like a femme fatale from a 40's noir movie, and her shit-for-brains secretary is fun, too.  A ditsy dame who at one point has her nipple nibbled on by one of the mutant babies, it's a fun scene, but for the most part the freaks do not have a lot to do, which is a shame, and as a result this one loses points, but is still a fun watch.  

Audio/Video: Hideous! (1997) arrives on Blu-ray from Full Moon Features, restored from the original 35mm negative, and it looks pretty solid with good contrast and black levels, colors are nicely vibrant, purples and red really pop, though there is a brief scene at about the 61 minute mark when the video quality drops significantly, it looks like that scene comes from  standard definition source, perhaps an old video master. That being said, other than some very minor white speckling, dirt and horizontal scratches the movie looks quite good to my eyes, though it does seem a bit dark at times The disc includes a lossy English Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo and surround 5.1, Full Moon have yet to embrace lossless audio, but both do the job, though I preferred the stereo track. The dialogue and effects are mixed well, but the Richard Band (Re-Animator) score is one of his lesser efforts. 

Extras on the disc begin with the original 19-min Videozone featurette with vintage interviews from Charles Band,  Michael Citriniti, Tracie May, Rhonda Griffin, Terry O'Donnell and Jackie Lovell. Bands speaks about directuing for the first time since Prehysteria, filming at his studio in Romania,  while Cinitrini speaks about the fun of chewing up the scenery, Tracie May relishes in playing such a nasty character, and wearing a particular fragrance crafted just for her character by her friend who was a perfume designer. Rhonda Griffin speaks a bit about her brainless character who has heart, while Lovell loved the idea of being nude with a gorilla mask. These vintage Videozone segments are always a blast, Band was ahead of the curve when it came to including special features, even back in the days of VHS. There's also an audio commentary from Mel Johnson Jr and Michael Citriniti, who have fun recollecting their time on the low-budget film, speaking about the fun times they had in Romania, making fun of their dialogue, and the secret to how the lovely Lovell used double-sided tape to keep that vest secured to her breasts.  We also get about 14 minutes of Full Moon trailers in widescreen HD. 

Special Features: 
- Commentary with Actors Mel Johnson Jr and Michael Citriniti
- Original Videozone (19 Min)
- Full Moon Trailers: Ravenwolf Towers (2 min) HD, Head of the Family (2 min) HD, Killjoy Psycho Circus (2 min) HD, Puppet Master 2 (2 min) HD, Puppet Master 3 (2 min) HD, Vampire Journals (2 min) HD, Spectres (2 min)HD

Another 90s Full Moon tiny-terror entry arrives on Blu-ray looking solid, while this doesn't rise to the level of cream of the crop of the Full Moon catalog this is absolutely on par with Head of The Family (1996)as a fun, low-budget, slice of Full Moon schlock. If you dig Full Moon's 90's output like Head of The Family and The Creeps (1997)you will probably dig this, if you're not a fan of FM or those film this won't change your mind, it's hokey and goofy, but it's also entertaining in a trashy sort of way. 2.5/5

THE CREEPS (1997) (Blu-ray Review)

THE CREEPS (1997)

Label: Full Moon Entertainment
Region Code: Region-FREE
Rating: PG-13
Duration: 75 Minutes
Audio: English Dolby Digital 2.0, Dolby Digital 5.1 
Video: 1080p HD Widescreen (2.35:1)
Director: Charles Band
Cast: Rhonda Griffin, Justin Lauer, Bill Moynihan, Kristin Norton, Jon Simanton, Joe Smith, Phil Fondacaro, Thomas Wellington 

Ahhh, more late 90's Full Moon cheese dripping its way onto Blu-ray, this time we have a slice of dwarfsploiltation directed by Charles Band (Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn). We begin with a cute young woman named Anna Quarrels (Rhonda Griffin), a librarian at the rare books annex of the local library, approached by a weird portly man named Dr. Winston Berber (Bill Moynihan) who is there masquerading as someone he's not to study the original handwritten manuscript of Mary Shelley's original "Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus". His credentials check out and she let's him in to view the rare tome, but the unscrupulous Berber switches the manuscript with a fake and steals away the original for his own nefarious purposes. 

After Berber leaves she discovers the theft, but does not report it to her boss, Miss Christina (Kristin Norton), a lesbian who lusts after innocent Anne on a daily basis, whom with her lanky build and Cheshire smile she sort of reminded me of a young Mary Woronov (Sugar Cookies). Fearing she will lose her job Anne instead contacts a private detective whose day job is clerking at a local VHS rental store, where of course Full Moon titles are in high-demand.

The detective is able to finger point who the thief is, but is unable to track down the culprit's whereabouts. No matter, Berber soon enough arrives at the library a few days later, not realizing that Anne is on to his theft. He's there to pilfer a coveted first edition of Bram Stoker's "Dracula", and when Anne confronts the stammering thief he kidnaps her, taking her back to his laboratory. So, what's this book-napper up to? He has invented a Archetype Inducer, a contraption that will allow him to 'transform mythic, cultural and literary archetypes into living entities', of course! 

Berber has developed a way to bring the literary creations Dracula, The Mummy, Wolfman and Frankenstein's Monster from the pages of horror fiction into the realm of reality, somehow involving the original books, which is never explained. His plan also involves sacrificing the virginal librarian to bring the monsters to life, however, during the involved process, which involves Berber's stammering his way through a monologue and fiddling with his beakers and gadgets, Anne escapes with the help of David. However, Berber's mad science experiment is already underway and when his creations emerge from their test tubes, but there's a hiccup, they're only pint-sized versions of their literary counterparts - and there you have it, miniature Universal monsters, how's that for a whacky high concept idea? All told be have 3 foot versions of The Mummy (Joe Smith), Frankenstein's monster (Thomas Wellington), the Wolfman (Jon Simanton), and the red-eyed Dracula (Phil Fondacaro, Ghoulies)

Unfortunately the movie is a bit of a wreck, the acting is uniformly terrible, with the exception of the always fun Phil Fondacaro, it's amateur hour all show long. Maybe the worst of them all is the stammering Moynihan as Berber, it's been a long time since I've seen acting that bad. Star Rhonda Griffin is not much better, most everyone here is sub-Troma bad, so painful, though I love it when she threatens the book thief with "homosexual gang rape" in jail, haha. What the movie lacks in budget and thespian skill is only made worse by the teen-humor that abounds, the movie is so damn goofy, along the lines of Head of the Family (1996) but the acting is a rung lower this time around, if you can believe that.  

I liked the make-up effects from fx creator Greg Bartalos (From Beyond) , the monsters look pretty decent, low-budget, but not too bad. The only one to have a speaking part is Phil Fondacaro as Dracula, with a nod to Christopher Lee's take on the vampire with eerie bloodshot eyes. Fondacaro turns in a good performance, by several measures the most accomplished actor on the set, but the character is also poorly written and goofy, too.
   
Audio/Video: The Creeps (1997) bdebuts on Blu-ray from Full Moon in 1080p HD framed in the widescreen scope aspect ratio (2.35:1). Advertised as being culled from the original 35mm negative the image appears a bit on the dark side to me, colors are muted, and the brightness looks turned down a bit much. The source also show numerous instances of dirt, debris and white speckling, detail is lacking and the depth and clarity are non-existent, it's a pretty thick looking image.  Audio on the disc includes both Dolby Digital 2.0 and surround 5.1, as with other Full Moon Blu-ray releases they'e opted for no lossless audio or subtitles.  

Extras on the disc include 15-minutes of Full Moon trailers and a 23-minute vintage Videozone behind-the-scenes featurette. The PQ leave  A LOT to be desired, this looks better than the previously issues DVD releases, but not by much. 

Special Features:  
- Original Full Moon Trailers: Ravenwolf Towers (2 min), Head of the Family (2 min), Killjoy's Psycho Circus (2 min), Puppet Master 2 (2 min), Puppet Master 3 (2 min), Trancers 2 (3 min), Specters (2 min) 
- Vintage THE CREEPS Videozone behind-the-scenes featurette (24 min) 

As bad as the acting is, and as poorly written as the story turns out to be, I did have some fun with this monster mash-up, mostly reveling in how bad it is. The stuff I enjoyed was a lot of Miss Christina (Norton) stuff, who winds up masturabting to a first edition of Jane Eyre at the library, then kidnapped by the mini-monsters, baring her breasts and inexplicably being turned into an operatic Valkyrie by the Archetype Inducer, a lot of goofiness going on here. The finale is a thing of mind melting stupidity, it all just sort of falls apart, but if you're a fan of bad movies... 2/5

Mutant Baby Shocker HIDEOUS! (1997) Comes to Blu-ray March 21st from Full Moon

Full Moon presents

The Blu-ray premiere of mutant baby monster shocker

HIDEOUS!(1997) 

For the first time on Blu-ray comes this wild and weird Full Moon cult favorite

You never know what weirdness you’ll find in the sewers as a hapless treatment worker discovers when he enters the diabolical world of Charles Band’s HIDEOUS! Upon trudging through the subterranean sludge and doing his doody-sifting duty he comes across a pack of strange deformed mutant babies and monsters that he takes to the black-market in hopes of making a quick buck. What happens next is the sort of high-concept B-movie absurdity that only Band and veteran strange cinema writer Neal Marshall Stevens (THIRTEEN GHOSTS, RETRO PUPPET MASTER) could dream up, as evil doctors and mad hustlers vie to get their mitts on the re-animated miniature mutants. Gore, sex and wanton weirdness ensues.

If it’s a tasteless, terrifying and slickly produced trash masterpiece you’re looking for, look no further than HIDEOUS!  This one has it all!

Starring Mel Johnson Jr, Michael Citriniti, Rhonda Griffin, Tracie May and the amazing, smoking hot Jacqueline Lovell from Band’s HEAD OF THE FAMILY(also out now on Blu-ray) and boasting a startling electronic music score by the great Richard Band, the utterly insane HIDEOUS! makes its Blu-ray premiere on March 21st, 2017 in a stunning Special Edition, with a crisp HD transfer remastered from the original 35mm camera negative.